Why You Should Wait For Him To Make The First Move


In my opinion, women like to over complicate courtship. Actually, that’s if they allow any courting to happen at all. You may be thinking, what is courting? Does it actually still exist in a world of dating apps and friends with benefits? The answer is yes, if you allow it to happen.

Courting is the period of time before a relationship actually begins. It’s when the man tries to woo you and win you over. He’ll do things like call you, text you, send you flowers, ask you to dinner, buy you your favorite candy, you know, all the sweet stuff you see in the movies you don’t really think exists in real life or in 2016.

Here’s the catch with courting, the man courts the woman. So, you shouldn’t be calling him, texting him, sending him flowers (which is odd anyway) etc. This is why dating can be a bit of a waiting game.

If you are the type of girl who is just itching to send the guy a text the day after meeting him, you NEED to read this and you need to learn to be patient and sit back and wait. It can actually be quite fun to be courted instead of courting the man.

I know it sounds old fashioned, but it’s tried and true and believe me, it works. There is no quicker way for a man to lose interest than by you contacting him, first. Think of it like a tennis match. He sends the ball over by calling you and you send the ball back by answering the phone. Once you’ve answered the ball is in HIS court. Which means, let him make the next move.

If he doesn’t suggest to see you, wait. If he doesn’t call, wait. If he doesn’t text you the next day like he said he would, you guessed it, wait. DO NOT under any circumstances make up excuses in your head for the man and decide to make the first move.

He has your number, your Facebook, your Instagram, your e-mail etc. etc. Believe me, if he wants to contact you he will find a way.

The busiest most powerful men in the world (world leaders, CEOs,) all have time for a relationship (sometimes several relationships) so, I highly doubt the guy you met with a start-up is just so busy he can’t find the time to call you.

Practicing this really helps you eliminate the men who aren’t serious about getting to know you in one big swoop.

If he doesn’t call, he doesn’t care. It’s that simple. If he doesn’t text, he doesn’t want to chat. If he doesn’t ask you on a proper date, he doesn’t want to get to know you.

And that’s perfectly fine. Here’s the best part, it’s not like you are actually sitting by your phone waiting. You are so busy living your happy, social, fulfilled life and going out on other dates that you may or may not notice if that one guy reaches out or not. If he does, great! If he doesn’t, you have a life and a schedule to attend to and you are booked weeks in advance.

Plus, how much better does it feel when your crush calls you? It feels so much better than when you try and force things and reach out to him first. Then you don’t know if he just doesn’t want to be rude and feels obligated to respond to you. You get your hopes up and then you get let down when weeks go by and you are still making up reasons to text him, but he never pulls the trigger and asks you out on a date. You start asking all of your friends, what do you think? I think he likes me? He must just be shy. Do you really want a man who is too shy to call you and take you to dinner? I’d say NEXT… onto the next one.

When the guy does contact you and asks you out, say yes. Don’t play games, just be your fabulous self and go on the date, get to know him and if you’re interested at the end of the date tell him thank you, that you had a great time and you’d love to see him again. This puts the ball in his court to contact you for a second date. It lets him know that you are interested, but you remain mysterious because you are not contacting him after the date via text asking when you’ll see each other again.

Men will find this intriguing, because unfortunately most women contact them first. This can come off as desperate. Imagine you two on the tennis court, it should be one ball bouncing back and forth, but instead the woman is just hitting tons of tennis balls over to the man. When you picture this, it does seem a bit overwhelming for him, doesn’t it?

The Tennis Ball Test: If you aren’t sure if the ball is in your court or in his just look at your call log or you text messages. If he called/texted you and you haven’t responded yet then the ball is in your court. If you were the last person to call or text, it’s in his court. If it’s in his court, wait for him to hit it back into yours. It’s as easy as that! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Reporter turned blogger.
Why report on the negative when we can create the positive?
Change your perspective and change your life. Click here to join us on the ever-lasting discussion on spiritually sound dating.

Keep up with Alexa on Instagram, Twitter and wannabewivesclub.wordpress.com

More From Thought Catalog