1) Stop saying you’re the nice guy who finishes last.
You moan, whine, and lament about how nice guys finish last as if it’s a good thing. You’re crying for attention. You want me to reply, “Hey, being a nice person is a good thing! The right one will come along!” to give you hope. But both you and I know you’re just trying to validate your insecurities as somebody who really wants a girl but has no clue about how to get one. You’re NOT going to get a girl if you’re constantly victimizing yourself as the nice guy who accepts the idea that you have to finish last. You want a girl? Aim for first place.
2) Being nice doesn’t mean you have to be weak.
To elaborate the first point, being nice doesn’t mean you have to be weak. Stop saying “yes” when deep down the answer is “no.” Stop getting out of your way to do favors for people who won’t appreciate you. Stop waiting two hours for a girl who is perpetually late. Stop backing down and start standing up for yourself. A girl will never fall for somebody who is only nice. She needs to respect you, too.
3) Unless she’s already your girlfriend, you don’t have to be loyal.
I have so many friends who after taking an interest in a girl are like, “Oh since I like her, I won’t look at other girls. I have to show her I’m someone who’s not playful.” The worst part? They barely know her at all. Expand your choices already. It’s not a matter of loyalty. It’s about opening up and making friends. You’re only limiting yourself if you think you need to focus fully on a single girl whom you barely know. You’re missing out on other potential relationships when you think this way.
4) Stop thinking she’s an angel when you hardly know her.
Nice guys tend to assume the girls they like are perfect angels with zero flaws, which is one reason why they think they have to be loyal at the get-go. She’s not an angel. She’s not perfect. She has flaws. For all we know, she’s seeing other guys at the same time and treating you like some reserve while she tells her boyfriend, “Oh, him? Nah. He buys nice things for me, though.” The pedestal you put her on would crumble if you find out something gross about her.
5) Stop being so fearful over the little things.
“Should I add her on Facebook? What if she thinks I’m a stalker?”
“Should I follow her on Instagram? What if she doesn’t follow me back?”
“Should I like her picture? Is that too desperate?”
For fuck’s sake, these little minute details don’t matter! You must be dreaming if little things such as these can make or break your chances of getting her. If you’re so afraid of little things like this, how are you going to be ready for the challenges a real relationship brings?
6) You can learn a thing or two from douchebags.
The douchebags, assholes, or players you’ve condemned? They’re getting girls. You’re not. You can learn something from them and you’ll be surprised at the values and principles they uphold to be the men they are today. For one thing, know that most “bad boys” you see today were once like you. Then their hearts got broken enough times to know that they had to make a change.
7) Virgin nice guys, please get it done and over with.
The reason why you nice guys are so afraid of things is that you don’t know what to expect. Then you come up with excuses to justify your fear such as, “Oh, I gotta be nice. I can’t treat her like an object.” Get some sex and have it already. Demystify it. Start believing that sex is not that big a deal. The more something is a mystery to you, the more power it has over you. Time to get some knowledge.
8) It only always starts with friendship.
So stop overthinking it. She’s not your potential girlfriend. She’s not someone you’re going to marry. And you shouldn’t have to worry if she’s going to care that you play too much World of Warcraft. You’re only friends on the first date. So ease up, be confident, and get to know each other as equals.