Zodiac Signs Ranked From True-Blue BFFs To Absolute Backstabbing Traitors

Zodiac Signs Ranked From True-Blue BFFs To Absolute Backstabbing Traitors
Ian Schneider

1. TAURUS

You are as true-blue as a cloudless sky. When someone tells you a secret, they can rest assured you’ll keep it in “the vault.” You’re the person everyone calls at 3AM when there’s a crisis. You’re such a solid friend, your friends automatically know that if someone’s talking bad about you, that person is a liar. And your friendships even go beyond “until death do us part”—you’ll still be their loyal friend into the afterlife, too.


2. CAPRICORN

You are as loyal as an old dog whose owner rescued her as a puppy. You go beyond friendship and act more like a parent or a caregiver. You watch your friends’ backs, even if they’re not watching yours. And your friendship is completely unconditional—almost. Someone really has to cross the line—say, draining your bank account or purposely running over your grandmother with a car—for you to stop being loyal.


3. AQUARIUS

You have not always been treated well by others, which is why you can’t bear to think of treating anyone else that way or inflicting that kind of pain on them. You take a while to feel comfortable enough letting someone into your life, but once they pass your extensive vetting process, they have a friend for life. You’re so loyal that someone could hand you a ten-dollar bill and tell you to hold onto it, then come back ten years later and you’d still have it waiting for them.


4. CANCER

You have a trustworthy face and an easygoing manner that leads people to trust you. They ask you for advice. They share secrets that you never spill to anyone else. You are extremely loyal up until the point that someone betrays you—then all your loyalty evaporates. Good for you, because there’s a difference between being a good friend and a pushover.


5. LEO

You are the very definition of a fair-weather friend. You are loyal, but only up until your loyalty is put to the test—say, your friend has a financial crisis or just got arrested. Then you disappear. The minute there’s trouble, your loyalty vanishes into thin air. You’re more concerned with whether people are loyal to you. When it comes to being a reliable friend, you’re as flaky as a fresh-baked croissant. This is why your friends don’t always trust whether Leo the lion is, you know, lyin’.


6. SAGITTARIUS

When it comes to friendship, you are the definition of wishy-washy. One day you’re wishy, the next day you’re washy. One day you’re rushing across town with hot chicken soup to help your friend who has the flu, the next day you’re screening their calls because you don’t want to miss your favorite TV show.


7. VIRGO

When a friend is giving you all the attention and support you need and desire from them, your loyalty is beyond question. But the moment they start paying attention to their own needs, you begin wondering why you were their friend in the first place. At the end of the day, your “friendship” depends on what you’re getting…and hardly ever on what you can give. When it comes to being completely selfless, you’re still a virgin.


8. LIBRA

You are generally one of the most loyal zodiac signs, but your temper, ego, and lack of impulse control often get in the way of friendships. If you get a little drunk, you might just wind up sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend. Most of the time you’re true-blue. But when you lose a little self-control, you’re an awful friend. So stay off the booze and apologize to everyone you’ve hurt. Now.


9. SCORPIO

You are passionate and unpredictable, which means you’re a great friend one moment and a living nightmare the next. Trust and loyalty are extremely important to you, but if someone says the wrong thing or makes the wrong move, someone’s gonna get stung. You’re a great friend…but you’re a worse enemy.


10. PISCES

You are an extremely loyal friend—that is, up until the moment you find a new lover. Then you forget all about your friends. When you start sleeping with someone, you fall asleep on all your friends. And then when your new lover dumps you, you get confused when some of those friends you put in the freezer don’t want to thaw out and become your friend again. This is why you’ll be eating Ben & Jerry’s and watching Netflix alone tonight.


11. GEMINI

You are complicated, but twins always are. You’re an unreliable friend mostly because you’re flighty and get bored easily. Once your attention is fixated on something or someone new, you lose all loyalty. You will drop friends the minute you can find better-looking friends with more money. When it comes down to it, you’re a double-crosser with a split personality, you dirty, no-good fink.


12. ARIES

The only coat you’ve ever worn is a turncoat. You are hypersensitive and often unreasonably proud, which makes it hard to be your friend. You are extremely loyal to yourself…and to nobody else. Anyone who gives their friendship to you is throwing it in the garbage. They’re just biding their time until you stab them in the back with a long, cold knife. If you were a man, you’d be Benedict Arnold. But you’re not, so you’re Mata Hari. TC mark

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