1. LIBRA

The scales of justice are dispassionate and rational. That’s you. You see it as undignified to lose your cool. You may be boiling inside, but you hardly ever let it show. You have the patience of the saints. You seek to keep the peace, even at the price of your sanity.

2. VIRGO

You think confrontations are ugly, so you do your best to avoid them. You probably tolerate things you shouldn’t tolerate. When someone annoys or provokes you, you bite your lip so hard, sometimes it bleeds. If you express anger, it’s hardly ever direct. You’re more about passive-aggressive behavior such as snarky comments and hiding someone’s keys. You give people enough rope to hang themselves. It’s less messy that way.

3. CAPRICORN

Plenty of things anger you, but you hold it in. You give people a second and third and fourth and fifth chance before you even dare express the mildest disapproval. Instead of punching a hole in the wall, you hide in your bedroom. On the rare occasions you lose your patience, you regain it within five minutes. I’d suggest expressing your anger more. That way you won’t develop an ulcer.

4. SCORPIO

You will seek any excuse not to get angry until you run out of excuses. It takes quite a while for you to warm up from room temperature to boiling. When you finally express your anger, it’s through cutting insults rather than throwing a vase at the fireplace. You are so patient but yet so threatening, it’s confusing why people seek to get you angry in the first place. Don’t they know you have a poisonous stinger on your tail?

5. TAURUS

This bull stays in the pen until you can’t take it any longer, and then, ooh, what a wild rodeo ride it is! The main reason you finally get angry because people always fail to meet your expectations. Because they treat you in ways you’d never think of treating them. But you chew on your anger for a while before spitting it out. Once you’re angry, it’s like a car that’s overheated. It will take a while before you can drive it again.

6. GEMINI

You are the twins—half-longsuffering, half-rageaholic. It’s often said of the weather in Florida that if you don’t like it, wait five minutes, because it will change. That’s you when it comes to mood swings. One minute you have the patience of Job; five minutes later and you’re a T.Rex stomping everything in its path. I really wish you’d make up your mind, because I’m starting to lose patience with you.

7. CANCER

It takes a little time for you to lose your patience, but when you do, everyone within striking distance of you needs to duck and cover. Before that happens, you’d rather deal with your anger by ghosting people or sulking quietly away from them. And you don’t hold onto your anger because what’s the point? It’ll just make you tired.

8. SAGITTARIUS

For you, the cycle of anger is sort of like having an orgasm. It takes a while for your resentment and tension to build up, but once that volcano blows, it’s going to cover everything in red-hot magma. When you get angry, you get EXTREMELY angry. And it doesn’t last long because even volcanoes spend most of their time quietly resting…until the next eruption, that is.

9. PISCES

Before you start screaming or insulting (or even punching), you will typically spend a brief period sulking and brooding and crying and writing bitter diary entries. You’d rather deal with your frustrations by some sort of indulgence, whether it be drinking, smoking, or sex. At least they take the edge off. But sometimes nothing will take the edge off, and that’s when the knives come out.

10. AQUARIUS

You are the water carrier, but did you ever wonder why that is? It’s so you can pour it over the head of whoever’s pissing you off at the moment. And that’s before kicking them in the groin.

11. ARIES

You were born a firecracker with a quarter-inch fuse. To you, life is only an ultra-brief blip on the long arc of eternity, so you don’t have a second to spare to deal with some nagging asshole who wants to suck the life out of you. You start arguments AND end them, even if the other side has no interest in arguing. You’re even pissed off at the fact that I say you’re an angry person.

12. LEO

Did you ever see those old movies from MGM where the lion roars at the beginning? Why is the lion so angry? The movie hasn’t even started yet! There’s nothing to get angry about…yet. Who gets angry when nothing has even happened yet to make them angry? You do, Leo. Own it.