(March 21st to April 19th)
You love physical humor, especially when it involves people getting hurt. You love watching videos of people walking into signposts, falling flat on their faces, and especially seeing men get hit in the groin. At a party when someone passes out drunk, you find it hilarious when people draw mustaches on their face or cover them head-to-toe in shaving cream. When it comes to making you laugh, their pain is your gain.
(April 20th to May 21st)
You don’t need jokes or slapstick—the world is so crazy, it provides all the humor you need. Instead, you just sit back and observe. You find human nature so endlessly fascinating and weird…and human pride so endlessly foolish…you can endlessly amuse yourself sitting on a park bench and watching people walking around in the course of their daily business as if they have the slightest clue of what their doing.
(May 22nd to June 21st)
You find humor in humoring people. When that idiot at the office comes up to you and starts telling you about his wife and three kids and how they lost their luggage on the way to Disney World and how they got stranded at a motel without a change of clothes and how it was the worst vacation of their lives and now they have to wait another year to take another vacation, you nod with pretend sympathy. Internally, though, you’re laughing your ass off.
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
You find it funny when people make fun of themselves. Funny enough, the only time you make others laugh is when you’re making fun of yourself. You’ll stretch it to the point where you joke that you’re so pathetic, no one even cares to make fun of you, which is why you have to make fun of yourself.
(July 23rd to August 22nd)
You get huge yuks out of people who are unbelievably loud, obnoxious, and inappropriate. You don’t even think it’s wrong when someone makes wacky faces at a funeral, trying to make everyone laugh. But you think it’s even funnier that when someone makes wacky faces at a funeral and no one laughs, the security guard takes them away. What they hell where they thinking, anyway, making wacky faces at a funeral?
(August 23rd to September 22nd)
Nothing makes you laugh harder than hearing about the misfortune of someone you dislike. Remember the guy who bullied you in high school? He just went to prison for tax evasion! LOL!!! How about the girl who spread false rumors about you on Facebook? She just tried getting a nose job, and boy did the plastic surgeon mess it up! HAHAHA! And that jerk at Walmart who keeps making inappropriate comments to you? They just fired him for doing it to someone else! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
(September 23rd to October 22nd)
Your sense of humor involves “punching up”: You like seeing the rich, the powerful, the abusive, and the bullies put in your place. You love when the underdog gets their revenge. To you, seeing the head of a large corporation get hit in the head with a rock would be pure comedy; but if it happened to a homeless person, it’d be a tragedy.
(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Passive-aggression makes you roll off the couch and onto the floor in laughter. And you’re a world champion at being passive-aggressive: There are some days that no matter what anyone says, you’ll just shrug and say, “Grow up.” There are other days when even if someone says something positive to you, you’ll say, “Looks like I hit a nerve.” And then there are days when no matter what someone says, even if it’s good or bad, you’ll just say, “Must be nice.”
(November 23rd to December 21st)
You love a good funny story, and nobody has funnier stories than you do. And what’s funnier is that every one of them is true. Remember that teacher who kept mispronouncing your name, so you recorded your name onto your phone rigged it up to a set of mini-speakers under your desk so that every time she mispronounced your name, she’d hear it pronounced correctly and very LOUDLY? So does everyone you’ve told that story. And they’re all still laughing about it.
(December 22nd to January 20th)
You love insults, you stupid, pig-faced, knuckle-dragging, flat-broke, bad-breathed, knobby-kneed, pigeon-toed, pumpkin-spice-sipping, UGG-boot-wearing basic bitch!
(January 21st to February 18th)
You love jokes that are so mean, you can’t even imagine someone would have the audacity to tell them. Your favorite is the one about the henpecked husband whose mother-in-law just died. “It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law,” said a friend who was trying to console him. “Yeah,” the husband replied. “It was almost impossible.”
(February 19th to March 20th)
You’re one of the Mean Girls, and nothing makes you laugh harder than having a circle of friends who tell their own in-jokes about how stupid and ugly and smelly and unattractive every girl who doesn’t belong to your little gang is. You especially focus on people you all find ridiculous, and you’ll go late into the night doubled over in laughter as the jokes just get meaner and meaner.