Aries
(March 21st to April 19th)
Girl, you need to open a savings account now, because you are the living, breathing definition of an impulse buyer. You shop to avoid problems just like some people eat to avoid problems. Open a savings account now. I said NOW. Squirrel away the money you’d be wasting on that extra pair of shoes that you’ll never wear and that cute antique tea set you’ll never use. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a good person—it’s just that you’re bad with money.
Taurus
(April 20th to May 21st)
You are frugal, practical, and sensible. You save more than you earn, and you count dollars like people on a diet count calories. You know how to squeeze every last penny out of every last dollar. But you’re not cheap with others—if the phrase “it’s better to give than receive” applied to any star sign, it would be you. You take pride in saving up your money and then spending a little of it to make a friend, loved one, or even a complete stranger happy.
Gemini
(May 22nd to June 21st)
You’ve never kept a dollar past sunset. You might not even have a bank account. You don’t know your credit score, and it may be lower than your IQ. But you stick your head up high anyway—a lover of life, you are a gambler and a risk-taker when it comes to money. And sometimes it pays off—sometimes.
Cancer
(June 22nd to July 22nd)
Friends might call you cheap—the friends who are lousy with money, that is. But instead, you see yourself as wise. Rather than temporary pleasures, you use your money to build permanent security. You build that nest egg and guard it with your life. If you get a little extra cash, you’re most likely to splurge and go traveling.
Leo
(July 23rd to August 22nd)
You like to live lavishly and luxuriously—some would even say ostentatiously. You’re more about flash, more about being perceived as rich than actually building financial security. You have great financial skills, but you let your vanity get the best of you. You may impress everyone at the private party by rolling up in a Benz, but that’s because no one knows that you’re over $150K in debt because of it.
Virgo
(August 23rd to September 22nd)
You are practical, which others misinterpret as cheap. You pinch pennies so hard, it leaves bruises. You are cautious. Hardworking. Not a maniac or a gambler with money. When you splurge—which is rarely—it’s on food. Even then, you never order the lobster, even though you love it. Go ahead—order the lobster.
Libra
(September 23rd to October 22nd)
The balanced scales that symbolize your sign also reflect your approach to money. You are prudent. Wise. If you’re going to spend a little money on non-essentials, you’d rather give a gift than treat yourself. I suggest that every once in a while, you tilt those boring scales and live a little.
Scorpio
(October 23rd to November 22nd)
You are very lucky with money—at least in acquiring it. You’re not so great at holding onto it, though. More than any other sign, you are prone to receiving huge family inheritances or giant gobs of cash through mere luck. After all, when you bought that cute little two-bedroom cottage in a run-down area of town, how were you to know it was sitting on top of a massive underground oil reserve? More than any other sign, you’re also careful to have people think you’re poorer than you actually are. You’re the champion at bank safety-deposit boxes and secret stashes.
Sagittarius
(November 23rd to December 21st)
You are erratic in your approach to finances rather than methodical. As a result, money comes to you in spurts rather than regularly. Luckily for you, you’re good at saving and find it easy to keep yourself afloat during lean times. You’re a gambler whose gambles often pay off. And when they don’t, you’re wise enough to have a little bit saved up to keep yourself warm and well-fed.
Capricorn
(December 22nd to January 20th)
You are greedy, but you’re not stupid about it. You are materialistic, but no so much that you drive yourself into debt acquiring shiny status items to impress others. You are not an impulse buyer because you’re playing the long game. You plan ahead and often retire young.
Aquarius
(January 21st to February 18th)
You are very good with money, but perhaps a little too generous when it comes to giving it away. You are too stingy with yourself and often too charitable with others, especially with those who might not appreciate or deserve your generosity. Like they say, charity begins at home, so spend a little on yourself sometimes.
Pisces
(February 19th to March 20th)
You’re pretty much the Gandhi of the star signs when it comes to money—you are spiritual rather than materialistic. You seek other things in life besides money—and that’s a good thing up to the point where your power gets shut off because you forgot to pay the electric bill. You might even be carrying a bit of debt. Get a financial advisor, because money slips through your fingers like grains of sand through an hourglass.