“You get bored easily”, that’s what they say. To them, I move on too easily, I put the phone down too fast, ignored the texts, reject the calls and move on to the next guy so simply. To them, I treat guys like they are flavour of the week. To them, I am the girl who leaves.
But, I was the girl who stayed.
I was the girl who stayed even when things get rough. I was the girl who stayed even when the texts got lesser, the calls short and rough, and the date nights no longer existent. I was the girl who stayed even I was treated badly. I was the girl who stayed even when she knew she had a choice to walk away.
But I became the girl who leaves.
I became the girl who could care less the hearts she left behind. I became the one guy’s text constantly, trying to make plans, and, I dismiss them, one by one. I became the girl who doesn’t give a second thought to their feelings, rejecting them and leaving them. I became the girl who leaves.
I wasn’t always that kind of girl.
I used to be the girl who constantly gives second chances even when they don’t deserve it. I used to be the girl who will take the guy back if he would only just apologize. I used to be the girl who let her guard down so easily that just anyone could come in, say a few sweet words and have my heart handed over to them. I used to be that girl. I used to have my heart on my sleeve all the time, putting in so much time and effort into every relationship or almost-relationship even though it was not reciprocated. I constantly held on to faith and hope, trusting that things will somehow work itself out and I will have my happily ever after.
But things don’t always happen that way.
With every heartbreak, I began to realise what I want, and what I deserve. With every piece of my heart taken and thrown away, I began to build a wall around the pieces left to protect myself. Guard myself with walls so high no one can get around it. Locked my heart and throw the keys far away. I began to trust people less and was so sure that everyone who enters my life will eventually leave, so I became the girl who leaves. And so I became the girl who leaves, before I’m left.
ButI hope that someday I’ll meet someone who’ll make me stay, this time, with him.