7 Places Gay Men Have Sex
If gay men were to have a school dance the entire crowd would be a giant mix of compatible matches rather than having a wall of boys and a wall of girls terrified to speak to each other. This general principle of the sexual compatibility of everyone who passes through specific venues lends itself to an exciting array of places at which gay men can “connect.” Many gay men are in happy monogamous relationships. Some are in happy non-monogamous relationships. Let’s stay sex-positive! Here are a few examples of sex locales:
1. The gym – Boy, oh boyfriend, do gay men love a gym. I hate to be the bearer of bad stereotype but many gay men worship gyms like others worship at a temple. Because everyone there is pumped full of adrenaline, the kind of person who likes to stay in shape, and in tiny, sweaty clothing, sex is usually on everyone’s minds. The naked steam rooms sessions don’t help. It obviously depends on your gym choice but I don’t recommend straight men use the facilities at a David Barton.
2. The park – Out for a stroll with fluffy? Well, don’t go to the wooded part if you live in a major city. Or maybe Google it first I guess? Since the 70’s gay men have been hanging out in parks cruising to find a pal to help them release a little tension. A famous examples include Sir George Michael.
3. The “spa” – Usually there’s at least one “spa” in every city that contains a steam room and lots and lots and lots of private changing rooms. Some of these rooms have TVs. Some of these TVs play gay porn. There are free condoms. Find another “spa” member to massage you in the absolutely disgusting hot tub and figure out yourself what exactly this business is predicated upon.
4. Bars – There are certain bars, such as NYC’s The Eagle or The Cock, that have areas towards the back with no lights and lots of condoms. Some nights are themed with leather dress up parties or go-go boys dancing on the bar. These places even go so far as to post a “No Sex” sign up front. Yeah. Sure.
5. Sex clubs – We have clubs specifically for sex! They’re usually right next door to like an Arby’s or a Costco too, it’s insane. Anyway people go to these places and there’s a coat check but for all their clothes. Then they slip into a jock strap and (hopefully) some protection and then just go to town before leaving like nothing happened. It might sound implausible to straight people but there are a lot of these.
6. Cruise ships – Sometimes sex in a random dark room around your city is not enough. In those times of trouble some gay men purchase tickets on a gay cruise. Like night clubs: some are for sipping cocktails and listening to music and some are more sexual in their …goals. Just a giant hundred million dollar water barge full of gay men taking each other home floating around the pacific ocean. The future is great. (I also call these Tom Cruise ships because I’m adorable.)
7. Bathrooms – Yeah, I know. But sometimes a gay man will meet another gay man and it’s go time whether they like it or not. If neither has an apartment nearby then the most logical thing to do is to stumble into the handicap stall of the restroom of the venue. Almost nobody gets caught, it’s crazy. 