A Marathoner’s Guide To The Friends Thanksgiving Episodes

“The One with Rachel’s Other Sister” (Season 9, Episode 8)

Plot: Rachel’s middle sister Amy, played by Christina Applegate, appears suddenly for Thanksgiving. Her presence causes many arguments, mainly about who will take custody of Emma is every other one of her guardians suddenly died. Meanwhile Monica is babysitting her good china and Joey accidentally skips an important work event.

Quote:

Monica: “Ross and Rachel don’t know what they’re talking about. I mean, it’s not like they’re so responsible. Emma is the product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.”

Fate of the Turkey: Neither the turkey nor Monica’s wedding dishware servived the evening.

NYC Inaccuracy: No matter how rich Mr. Green is, there is no way Amy thought Ross’s already gorgeous (and immeasurably overpriced based on its neighborhood) apartment was a split level. Only families with two parents working in finance can inhabit a split level.

Best Friend: Chandler, who proved he would make a really great adoptive parent if Ross, Rachel, and Mr. and Mrs. Geller all died. He also pointed out, correctly, how arousing Rachel and Amy’s physical altercation was.

Random Observation: The original plan for this episode was to bring Reese Witherspoon back as Rachel’s sister Jill. Because of scheduling conflicts the producers cast Christina Applgate as Amy instead. I for one am very happy because Christina Applegate who was/is astoundingly talented and has never gotten enough work. Justice for Samantha Who!

Drink Pairing: Cosmopolitan. I don’t wanna go out on a limb here, but I’m just guessing that spoiled white girl Amy’s drink of choice would be a Cosmopolitan. You’re lying if you say you wouldn’t want to ask about both times she got her lips done over a few.

“The One with the Late Thanksgiving” (Season 10, Episode 8)

Plot: The final Thanksgiving episode. So bittersweet… like Mockolate, I assume. Monica decides to host Thanksgiving, yet again, despite not wanting to this year. The gang is all an hour late for dinner after Ross and Joey go to a hockey game and Phoebe and Rachel secretly enter Emma into a beauty pageant. The ensuing arguments suddenly look very petty when Monica and Chandler receive an unexpected phone call…

Quote:

Monica: “Thanksgiving is over. The vein has spoken.”

Fate of the Turkey: It got cold and it’s grease was used on Joey’s stuck head before it was knocked to the ground and destroyed. What a way to go out.

NYC Inaccuracy: Parents in NYC do not enter their children in beauty pageants. That is strictly the South’s emotional territory. In NYC children compete through knife fights or Equestrian events, depending on their household income.

Best Friend: Joey obviously, for giving the world Nacho Chandler, having the giant finger, stealing Ross’s pocket, and being unable to feel his ears.

Random Observation: Chandler said that next year there would be one more person with them on Thanksgiving. In season 8’s Thanksgiving episode Monica says the same thing to a pregnant Rachel. Jennifer Aniston clearly never wants children so why do the tabloids keep obsessing over it?

Drink Pairing: Sake Bomb, because we need to attack to cast into doing a Thanksgiving reunion special and these are the only bombs we have on hand.

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