A Marathoner’s Guide To The Friends Thanksgiving Episodes

“The One with the Football” (Season 3, Episode 9)

Plot: The gang decides to play an impromptu football game despite Monica and Ross’s parents warning them specifically not to. The Geller Cup ensues. Monica and Ross’s relationship has never been better illustrated into a single episode.

Quote:

Rachel: “Maybe there’s some kind of league that we can join.”

Phoebe: “Isn’t there a National Football League or something?”

Joey: “Yeah, but they only play on Sunday and Monday nights.”

Rachel: “Oh shoot. I work Monday nights.”

Fate of the Turkey: Eaten post-game by everyone but Ross and Monica. Likely digested into more muscles for the next Geller Cup.

NYC Inaccuracy: It’s highly unlikely that there is open space in a Manhattan park for an impromptu two-part football game on Thanksgiving day. People wake up early to stake out their space for that shit. It is, however, highly likely that a random bleach blonde Dutch girl is hanging out inside that park picking up men.

Best Friend: Phoebe for being crafty with her boobs and for her still-epic That Girl t-shirt paired with that in-game hairdo.

Random Observation: The two children on the swings are the children of series co-creator Marta Kauffman. Imagine being Marta Kauffman’s children? You would be so rich and so caffeinated.

Drink Pairing: Beer, what else goes with a football game?

“The One with Chandler in a Box” (Season 4, Episode 8)

Plot: Joey has not forgiven Chandler for stealing his girlfriend, even though it is almost Thanksgiving. As penance he instructs Chandler to sit in a wooden shipping box for the entire holiday. Meanwhile Monica gets an ice chip to the eye and is forced to see her ex’s son for medical attention. Romantic sparks fly between the two despite the pseudo-incestuousness of it all.

Quote:

Joey/Rachel: “Va fa Napoli!”

Fate of the Turkey: Awkwardly eaten during a semi-incestual group date. That turkey was dead, prepared, cooked, being masticated, and still the most comfortable person at that table.

NYC Inaccuracy: That there would be a local on-call optometrist on a national holiday, especially if he’s filling in for his father instead of celebrating with him. New York is famous for its 24/7 service, but even in NYC your local specialist is sending you to the ER on Thanksgiving. Father/son medical practices are pretty common thorough.

Best Friend: Chandler. If you can be the funniest character while spending the majority of the episode in a wooden box apologizing then you win. He also gets to kiss the very pretty Paget Brewster.

Random Observation: In this episode Ross claims he came up with the idea for Die Hard. He’s also claimed to have come up with the idea for Got Milk. I wonder if Ross also wrote Too Many Cooks.

Drink Pairing: Brandy, to warm your icy eye. Hopefully delivered by a St. Bernard.

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