You’re a guy, my guy specifically. You’ve dedicated almost two years to being with me, but still can’t understand why I have a problem with this other girl. Your “best friend.” Someone who is “like a sister” to you.
You get jealous about the nonexistent guys in my life, but make me think I have to be okay with ‘her.’ I can’t do it. I’ve tried. I’ve tried making friends and playing nice, but she continually crosses boundaries. No girlfriend wants to be on the phone with her boyfriend at midnight when she’s out of town and hear ‘her’ walk right in and start talking, causing your attention to falter. No girl wants to have to hang up because her boyfriend is too caught up talking to ‘her.’
I have tried my hardest, but I cannot be okay with ‘her’ and the constant boundaries she seems to cross. Just because she doesn’t have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean mine is available at every call. I’m tired of ‘her,’ but she won’t go away.
It drives me crazy if I’m being honest – knowing that I can’t make you choose without being a terrible person. You both have more in common together then we do. You like the same things, play the same video games, believe in the same things, and it makes me feel like I’m just there, as a second choice, another option. There’s been countless moments where I’ve felt compared, insecure, and unimportant as long as she’s around.
But I love you, and I can’t lose you. But should I? Should I sacrifice my heart and getting hurt? Or should I just keep protecting my heart and telling myself that it will eventually be okay? That once we’re living together and married that she won’t be a problem anymore? Am I lying to myself?
I’m not going to be the girl that’s made into an idiot about something she’s feared all along.
I won’t be like ‘her.’
And if I have to, I will make you choose. It’s your future, or your friend.