I Won’t Wait For You

I won’t wait for you because it is a waste of time. Waste means to progressively become weaker, and let’s be honest, that’s exactly what we’re doing here. I could spend my days waiting for you to come around, and you just might. Either way, I would never get this time back. I could never undo sleepless nights and anxious days. I can’t go back and tell myself that waiting isn’t worth the effort. I can’t even take that time back so that I can reinvest it in someone else. So no, I won’t wait for you.

I won’t wait for you because I’d be missing out on life. Life is the existence of an individual human or animal, and I’m sorry to say that my existence does not revolve around you. I mean, of course, you thought it did. Why else would you expect me to wait? But waiting deteriorates my quality of life. I just can’t allow you to take that kind of toll on me. I can’t live a life of uncertainty while waiting for you to choose me. I refuse to put myself on hold or live on standby while life and all of its possibilities just pass me.

I won’t wait for you because I’d lose respect for myself. Self-respect is pride and confidence in oneself, and right now I don’t feel like I have either. Waiting on you puts me in a dark place. A place where I feel that I could never amount to whatever it is that you need me to be. I hate that you make me feel like I’m not enough. I hate that you make me feel like I deserve this treatment. I hate questioning myself. Waiting on you made me hate myself.

I won’t wait for you because I refuse to settle for less. Settling is an action taken when someone feels comfortable in a particular place or position. I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m not comfortable with waiting on you. The moment that I become comfortable is the moment that waiting becomes the new “norm” for me. I’m not open to accepting the fact that my patience is being taken for granted. I cannot commit to a situation of uncertainty. I can’t find comfort in the idea of waiting for someone who isn’t certain that they even find comfort with me.

I won’t wait for you because you wouldn’t wait for me. Waiting is an action one takes to stay or delay actions until a particular time or something else happens. What am I even waiting for? When will the time ever come? What is supposed to happen? Do you have any of these answers? Oh, you don’t know…sounds about right. Would you wait on me though? No…I saw this coming. You need this time to do your own thing, right? What happens when I need time to do my own things? I’d be wasting your time, and your time is far too precious to waste. Sounds familiar to me. You have too much pride to wait but if I don’t then I must be selfish. Clearly, you’re right.

I am selfish, so no, I won’t wait on you.