1. “I stopped making excuses for the selfish or hurtful choices of the jerks I was dating, and started immediately breaking things off with them instead. It was harder in the moment but paid off a thousand times more in the aftermath.”

–Tracy, 31

2. “I started being straightforward about my feelings and it saved me a lot of heartache and a lot of time and a lot of guessing.”

–Lindie, 24

3. “Working on my commitment issues.”

–Jack, 30

4. “Asking for advice from my parents who are a lot smarter than me and a lot better at love than me. And then actually taking the advice.”

–Bryan, 28

5. “Only dating someone if they were interested in finding someone to settle down with. Not that dating for fun is wrong, but it’s not what I wanted, so why waste my time with people who didn’t want what I want?”

–Aubrey, 29

6. “After my previous breakup: figuring out what kind of person I wanted to be and what I liked doing on my own before I started diving back into the dating pool again. It made it a hell of a lot easier to understand what I was looking for because in my previous relationship, even I didn’t know what I wanted from him.”

–Michele, 25

7. “Actively not dating, because that’s what I really needed this year and I don’t regret it.”

–Sam, 27

8. “Throwing out the mental checklist I secretly had in my mind about what I expected from a boyfriend, because I finally realized the guys who had met those requirements in the past are actually some of the ones who made me the most miserable, so the arbitrary checklist you make in your head doesn’t even matter most of the time.”

–Cristina, 28

9. “Asking my girlfriend to take me back even though I am an incredibly stubborn person and I hated swallowing my pride. I broke things off because I didn’t know what I wanted and after a while I realized I was so much more unhappy without her. And I think the old me would have been too stubborn and would have decided that I missed my chance, but I went after her again and I’m so glad I did, and I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

–Ben, 25

10. “Being straightforward and actually asking a woman out on a date and literally using the word ‘date’ instead of just trying to be vague and asking if they wanted to hang out or something. Why do we do that? That’s so dumb.”

–Allan, 28

11. “Not comparing my relationship to everyone else’s like I used to do a lot in the past. It’s made me so much happier and present in my own relationship.”

–Angie, 26

12. “Always trying a second date even if I wasn’t totally excited after the first date (unless it was so horrible or she was so awful that I knew 100% that I wasn’t interested).”

–Simon, 28

13. “Being on my phone less when I was spending time with a girl I really liked.”

–Marc, 25

14. “Being totally myself on the dates I went on instead of trying to appear a certain way. For example, I ate more burgers on dates this year than the last several years combined, and I had a great time every time.”

–Emma, 27

15. “Waiting a few months longer than I wanted to to move in with my boyfriend, to make sure I was really ready and I was doing it for the right reasons. Totally worth it.”

–Clint, 27

16. “Going on dates to restaurants or bars where I could actually hear what my date was saying and have a good conversation where I actually felt like I got to know her.”

–Pat, 32

17. “Prioritizing my mental health and my wellbeing and my own happiness, so that I was actually in a healthy place to fall in love if I wanted to. Which I did!”

–Lindsey, 30