An Open Letter To The Boy I Had An Almost Relationship With

Ironically, I initially wasn’t expecting for you to come into my life the way you did. It was sudden. And it was exciting. You caught me by total surprise. So, kudos to you.

I never really knew what to label us as. Because I mean, we were never technically in a relationship, but we weren’t just friends either. So it’s kinda like we got stuck in that grey, confusing area. And I’m gonna go ahead and assume that’s where you usually place all of your “almost girlfriends”.

Which unfortunately, includes myself.

I want to say thank you for manipulating my feelings in ways I didn’t think were humanly possible.

And for always knowing exactly what to say to get my hopes up so high, only to crush them in the end. Because now I’m a little bit wiser. And I know how to tell if someone is just telling me what I want to hear for the sake of just doing so. Thank you for acting like you were going to become my boyfriend. And for acting like you wanted me to be your girlfriend. Thank you for acting as if we were actually going to start a real relationship. Thank you for all the false hope. Because now I know that false hope doesn’t make me a fool. It doesn’t make me stupid for hoping that we could ever have something that’s real. Actually, it’s made me smarter for the next time around. And you’ve shown me who to put my trust in and who not to. So thank you. Thank you for tricking me into believing that the connection between us was something legitimate and meaningful. Thank your for making me believe that you actually liked me for something more than just my body. And then for proving something outrageously different.

Because now that in the future I will never give myself to someone who isn’t worthy of it (physically, mentally, and spiritually.)

Thank you for showing me that my heart is still capable of feeling something. Thank you for giving me the courage to open it back up again. And to take my chances on love. But most importantly, I want to thank you for showing me that I am in fact, ready to love and be loved in return again.

And it certainly won’t be by you.

So thank you.