When You Finally See People For Who They Really Are Not Who They Pretended To Be

Some people only like us when we’re not threatening their existence. They only like us when we don’t speak up. They only like us when we tell them what they want to hear. They only like us when we put them first and make them feel important. They only like us when they can control us.

Some people only like us as long as we give them the attention they desire, as long as we do what they say, as long as we hide in the dark to keep them in the light. Some people only want us because we make them feel better about their lives and we make them feel superior if they’re doing so much better than us because they know we don’t have what it takes to be them or have that kind of authority, so instead of practicing kindness, they practice power. They want us as long as they have the upper hand, as long as they can control when to pick us up and when to drop us.

But one day, you start doing what makes you happy, you start living the life you always wanted to live, you start coming out of your shell and start shining. You discovered that you’re capable of finding the light and smiling. You discovered that your voice matters and you can be loved.

You discovered that you don’t always have to come second. You don’t always have to please others at the expense of your own happiness and that’s when the people who only liked you when you were a doormat start showing their true colors when you start to draw the line. They don’t want you to hold the pen. They want you to always say yes. They want you to always be quiet.

And that’s when it hits you that these people never loved you for who you are, they only loved because you made them feel better about themselves. They only loved you when they knew they could break you, they only loved you because you made them feel powerful, stronger, richer, wiser or whatever insecurity they had that you made them feel better about. They only loved you when you silenced their insecurities but now you’re loud and their insecurities are resurfacing. They don’t want you to realize what they’ve been doing to you. They don’t want to fix their own issues so they blame everything on you. They blame you for their anger, for their illness, for their own shortcomings.

They point their dirty fingers at you instead of trying to clean them.

But now you know better. Now, they can’t shake you anymore. Now, they can’t take your voice away from you. Now you know that you don’t have to stay in the dark.

Don’t let them. Don’t let them make you miserable again. Don’t let them use your weakness against you. Don’t let them manipulate you into thinking you’re not good enough. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for living your life, the way they lived theirs. Don’t let them make you feel that your happiness is their misery.

Just let them go. Let them be. Stay away from them. Stay away from anything that disturbs your peace and your happiness.

Because once you see someone’s true colors, you can’t repaint them. You can’t unsee the truth they uncovered. You can’t lie to yourself anymore or say that they want the best for you. Because they don’t. They only want what’s best for them.

They only see themselves and it’s about time you stop seeing yourself through their eyes so you can shine. Don’t let them blind you again. Don’t let them destroy you again. It’s time to rebuild everything they destroyed. It’s time to forgive them without inviting them back into your life. They took so much space and now you need to fill that space with love, hope, gratitude, wonder, and magic.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.