I’m Deleting Your Number

I’m deleting your number
because it’s more than just a number.
It’s beautiful memories I can’t relive.
It’s heartfelt promises all gone to waste.
It’s lies I believed because they came from you.
It’s deep scars I cannot hide.
It’s feeling sorry for myself every night
and mourning your loss every morning.
It’s remembering that you exist
but you’re not mine.
It’s seeing your name on my phone
but I can’t call you.
It’s knowing you’re there
but not there for me.
It’s fighting the urge to text you
and ask you questions,
ask for answers
or ask for closure.
It’s fighting the urge
to tell you how much it hurts.
I’m deleting your number
because it’s a hoax — 
having you in my contacts
when I can’t contact you,
having your name among friends
when we’ll never be friends.
I’m deleting your number from my phone
because this is how I slowly
start deleting you from my life.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.