Question from Bill:

“Marni, after watching your O.S.A video I have become a master at starting conversations with women. But now I have another problem with keeping the conversation going.  After about 2 back and forth’s with a woman, I freeze up and run out of things to say.  How do I keep the conversation going.”

Great question Bill and I’m pretty this is a question that a ton of other guys have as well.  Have you ever heard of conversation threading?

Conversational threading is a technique that enables you to continue conversation indefinitely without feeling like either person is “carrying” it.  It helps keep a conversation with a woman connected.

I’ve talked to a lot of men in my decade plus of being a Wing Girl.  A common “tactic” I see them use when in conversation with women is asking them question after question after question without threading the responses to the next question.

For example:

Him: Where are you from?

Her: Los Angeles

Him: Great.  What do you like to do for fun?

Her: (annoyed) Fishing……

Him: Cool, cool.  Where do you work?

Her: (I hate you) NBC….

This type of empty conversation does not facilitate any type of “spark” or connection to be made between you and the girl you are talking to.  If anything, it irritates us women and creates higher barriers for entry.

Conversation, like knitting, consists of easy and simple components woven

together to create something more amazing.

When you think of a conversation like this, keeping a conversation alive is easy,

your mind will never go blank and you will always have something interesting to

say.

That’s why having the “conversation threading” skill is super important.  It helps establish a solid foundation from which attraction can stem.

Conversation threading involves taking a piece of her sentence and using it to make a sentence of your own.

Let me use an example to explain:

Woman: “I love going to the Paris. It’s so romantic”

You: “Paris is my favorite city. I love the laid-back nature of the people”

Or

You: “What is it about Paris that you especially love?”

I literally came up with these answers on the spot as I wrote this.

Are they unique, mind blowing, panty dropping lines???

No.  They are responses that show I am paying attention and can add to a conversation with my own take.  The take being, either curiosity because I’ve never been to Paris before and want to know more.  OR a shared passion because of my own experience in Paris.

Either way, I am threading the conversation, connecting her to me and me to her.

This is very easy for anyone to do.  All you have to do is pull in your own experiences and associations to what she is saying.

Simply take what she has said and expand on it, either with a personal experience of your own or by asking her to expand on it.

Think of each word or phrase as a single thread for you to relate to.

For example:

1. I love

2. Going to

3. Paris.

4. It’s so romantic.

Then, find a way to relate to either part of it:

1. “I love” – What do you love about it?; I love it too it’s my favorite city to be

in during the summer

2. “Going to” – Where else have you traveled? How often do you get to go?

3. “Paris” – I think Paris is lovely; I’ve actually never been to Paris; What do

you love most about Paris itself?

4. “It’s so romantic” – I’ve never been there what about it makes it romantic?

I agree I can really just feel the love in the air in the people around me.

You can do this every time she speaks, and you will find that the conversation

will have a natural flow and you will never run out of things to say.

All you have to do is LISTEN, pick a thread, relate and then wait for her to reply.

Pick a thread, relate and then wait for her to reply.

And so on.

If you can master how to keep the conversation going with a girl it will increase your confidence when it comes to

approaching women, because you know how to start and fuel a conversation.

The reason why this skill set of Conversation Threading is SOOOO important is because just talking at women is not enough.  Creating a strong connection is what fuels attraction whether you want to date, sleep with or marry a woman.

You can practice conversation threading with everyone and I highly suggest you do.  It will make ALL of your conversations better and help you form great connections with everyone, especially women.  

Marni Kinrys is Your Personal Wing Girl and the author of
The Chick-tionary, available here.