Love her wild.

She finds strength in her independence and gathers confidence in being her curious, adventurous, driven self. She is most alive when she can explore, when she can feel the grass or dirt or sand beneath her feet, when she can talk with strangers, when she can recede into her own space and lose herself in the moment, when she is chasing what she believes in with passion and freedom.

Her heart is not rooted to one specific place or person. She has the capacity to love so incredibly, but she never desires to be kept or held down or told to stay still.

Love her wild.

Let her feel safe in your arms, but not suffocated. Let her breathe her own air, battle her own demons, pursue her own passions, but be there, alongside her, doing the same.

She will love you, and she will let you in. But she also wants nothing more than to stay her own person and to be that person next to you—growing with you, changing with you, becoming whole on her own and whole in her relationship with you.

Don’t try to control her.

This woman is wild. Not in the sense of reckless and dangerous, but in the way that she is not compelled to follow the rules or traditions of the world. She does not agree with toeing a line and staying safe, or doing the ‘right’ thing or as she’s told because that’s what someone desires of her.

Don’t try to control her. Don’t try to convince her that your perspective is absolute or your thought process and decisions are the only way. Don’t try to keep her from expressing herself, her feelings, her beliefs. Don’t try to change her, but converse with her. Show her a different way of thinking, of living. Be open, as she is. And love her as she is.

Learn her ways.

She expresses her feelings and lets both her mind and heart be her guide. She is not afraid to feel, to love, to let people see who she is. She is not scared of passion, of commitment, of being vulnerable.

She is the most comfortable when she is outside—experiencing, learning, feeling the earth around her. You may not be this way, and you don’t have to be. But learn her ways. Walk her walk. Be open and experience the world through her eyes.

Set her free.

She won’t run from you, be dishonest towards you, or break your heart, for she loves to love. Setting her free does not mean watching her fall for someone else, or standing there powerless as she leaves.

Setting her free means you won’t hold her back from becoming the woman she’s meant to become. Setting her free means you’ll let her be herself, without guilt and with full your trust. Setting her free means you won’t have a tight grip on her, or watch her every move.

Setting her free means you love her for who she is, and won’t grab her so tightly she can’t move. Setting her free means you love her enough to let her be herself.

Open up to her.

She feels everything so deeply, from the energy of the natural world to the emotions dancing in her heart. She will feel the most connected to you, the most intimate with you when you let her know what’s on your mind. When you break down the walls, when you open your heart, when you stop trying to hide and you fully let her in.

Express your emotions. Be truthful and vulnerable. Let go.
And in return she will shower you with affection and care in the purest form.

Show her your permanence.

She is used to love that leaves. Sometimes she is too big, too much for people to be with, and so she’s become familiar with the temporary, with people who make promises they don’t keep.

Prove to her that you’re not that person.

Show her that when you say, ‘I love you,’ you mean it. That when you say you’re here, you’re not going anywhere. Be the support she needs, the ground she’s standing on, the security she’s craving, though she’ll never admit it. Be the person who is permanent in a world that’s ever-changing. Show her how beautiful it is to slow down sometimes. Be the stability and security to her wild.

Find your middle ground.

Be willing to compromise. Find a place where the two of you can meet halfway—her still wild, but rooted to your relationship; you stable, yet willing to embrace a life without so many rules. Make peace with the different parts of yourselves and let go of some of your stubbornness.

Decide that love is more important than being ‘right’ or living selfishly. Show her how to love you as you learn how she needs to be loved. Remember that two different people can fall for one another and create something beautiful.

Love her without conditions.

Do not put guidelines on your love, or a manual for how she should love you. Do not only love her when she is calm or well-behaved. Do not only wish to love parts of her instead of the whole.

Love her when she is happy, but also when she’s spiraling down. Love her when her head is spinning with ideas, but also when she’s silent and brooding. Love her moodiness, her chaos, her charisma. Love her when she’s loud and bright, but also when she’s quiet and forlorn.

Love her because her wildness is what makes her human and flawed and wonderful. Love her without a deadline, without an expiration date, without expectations.

Love her without wanting her to be anyone other than who she is.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.