Not Every Day Is Going To Be A Good Day (And That’s Okay)

I used to wish that every day would be wonderful, that every morning I would wakeup refreshed and renewed, not a drop of sadness in my blood. I used to hope for perfection, for bliss, for never-ending happiness filling every little crease and cell in my heart.

But now I don’t.

Because I’ve learned that a life without sadness isn’t really a life at all. A life without pain, a life without a little trouble, a life without failure and brokenness and learning how hard it is to lose someone or something—without this, we never realize the worth of what we have.

Without falling down, we never learn to be careful and smart. Without getting our hearts broken, we never learn how beautiful it is to truly fall into love. Without messing up, we never learn the value of success. Without saying goodbye, we never really treasure the people and blessings around us.

Do I wish a life of pain on anyone? No, of course not. Do I wish to diminish anyone’s suffering? Not in any way. Am I trying to say that someone’s ‘supposed’ to go through certain terrible things to come out stronger? Well, not exactly. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that what they’re going through, or have gone through, is necessary. Because pain sucks, and should never feel necessary.

But at the same time, it’s the toughest moments that help us value the most wonderful. It’s the trials that bring us eventual triumph. It’s the struggles that show us our true strength.

It’s the awful moments of life that remind us we’re human, and not going to be perfect. And that’s perfectly alright. When we stop trying to control life, stop trying to manipulate people, stop trying to have life fall according to a plan—then we learn that life will always have ups and downs and if we’re cycling through a crappy down right now, we will be okay.

Not every day is going to be a good day. Not every morning will our hearts feel full and brightened by sunshine. Not every single moment will we want to smile, be happy, be in love, reach out to others.

But we can’t beat ourselves up for that.

Pain is inevitable. In our relationships. In our work. In our families. In our personal lives. In our choices. In our simplest moments. In our futures.

But that doesn’t mean we give up hope. We just have to shift our perspective.

Instead of dreading the eventual turmoil that’s coming around the corner, instead of trying to wish away every drop of sadness in our souls, we must see the other side. We must know that we can and will get through our hardest moments. We must realize that they happen for a reason, sometimes completely unknown to us. We must let go of our desire for perfection and let life happen.

We must see that negative becomes positive, that bad becomes good, that life turns around if we just fight forward and continue on.

We must understand that we can’t have perfect days every single day. And this is okay. Because those down-in-the-dumps days shift our priorities, they help us to put value on the important things and people, they remind us to take nothing for granted, and they teach us who we have the power to be when we stand up and fight.

So don’t lose yourself over a bad day. Don’t hate yourself, or your life, because things aren’t going right. Don’t be frustrated you’re stuck in a hole, or fighting with a loved one, or feeling some type of absence like a crater in your chest.

Don’t let yourself be dragged down by negativity. Because bad days are our teachers, our healers, our strength-givers. And they do turn around in time.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.