And Even When You Lose Yourself, I Will Be Here

This is my promise to you.

On the days you feel empty, on the nights when you flip absently through the pictures on your phone, missing what used to be. On the early mornings when you wake up already tired, wishing for nothing more than to curl back into that dream, to be somewhere else for a little while. On the late afternoons when you watch the clouds float past your window, longing for something more.

I will be there.

I will be the voice in your head, reminding you who you are and why you matter. I will be the smile that finds its way across your face as you think about past memories, encouraging you to focus on the good times and not what’s missing. I will be the warmth in your heart, pressing restart, pulling you from your curtain of sadness, loosening your tight grip on the past, lifting the heavy weight from your heart and whispering hope into your ear again.

I will be the glue that holds you together when you’re falling apart, the strength that absorbs into your bones and carries you forward, the push you need to get back on your feet again.

I will be the one who believes in you when you forget how to believe in yourself.

Because I love you. Because you matter to me. Because you were all those things to me when I so desperately needed them, and now I want to be that and more for you. See, we all go through dark days. We all have moments where we forget who we are and how we were made. We all need a friend who will stand behind us, making sure we don’t slip. A friend who will walk alongside us, sharing in our troubles. A friend that will walk ahead of us, guiding the way.

And I will be all of those for you, because I love you. And nothing will ever change that.

On the days when you can barely keep your eyes open. On the mornings when you drive to work, tears running down your face. On the nights when you bury yourself in blankets and pillows, not wanting to feel the pain and heartbreak and loss anymore—I will be the one who comes over and lays beside you, the one who holds you until the tears dry, the one who reminds you of every happy moment and makes you laugh until your sides hurt.

I will be the one who lifts you when you feel too heavy to continue.

I will forever remind you of how strong and beautiful you are and all that you are capable of doing and becoming. I will show you that your pain will one day cease and that there are bigger and better things to live for. I will tell you all the ways this world will never be the same without you, and I will help you find your way and see your worth again.

And I will stand beside you, and never leave.

This is my promise to you. On the days you feel broken. On the nights you are lonely. On the mornings you just don’t feel like yourself anymore. On every afternoon where you call me, wondering whether or not it’s all worth it and if you can make it through another day.

I will forever be the voice on the other end of the line, telling you, Yes. You can. You will. You are loved. And I am here.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.