To Everyone Who Knows The Agony And Ecstasy Of A Long Distance Relationship

The last time I saw him was in August of last year and I have been waiting patiently for him to come back for 8 months now. I have been waiting only to hear that he cannot come back for another whole year due to immigration troubles. I’m in Asia and he is in the US.

To anybody in a long distance relationship, it’s painful. So painful, you dread looking at your friend and her boyfriend. So painful, you want to run every time you see another couple walking with their hands entwined. Every time you break down, choking on your own tears wishing your significant other was here to hold you close and wipe the pain the away, you realize how much the pain of staying away from them is affecting you. It’s difficult and so dreadful, sitting in a café alone, staring at your phone’s blank screen. It makes you cry to think that they won’t be there on that special day you only wanted to spend with them.

But let me tell you, it’s all worth it.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder- Wrong. It gives you so much of pain, that lie on your bed holding onto that one t-shirt they left behind for you, crying so much that your vision gets blurred due to all the tears and you start wondering if this is worth it. You start wondering whether hours of calling back each other on FaceTime due to a faulty connection, rescheduling your work due to time zone differences are all worth it? That birthday you spent alone, despite all your friends singing ‘Happy Birthday…’ for you, trying to hold in tears as you wondered how beautiful it would have been had they been here. Trust me, all that pain is just momentary.

There will be times when the insecurities will rise, and not being able to meet them to sort your problems will make you so anxious that you will not be able to eat or sleep without your heart thumping so loud. Times when they will make so many new friends and have so many new adventures that they would want to talk about with you, but you will feel undeniably jealous. Times when it will be impossible for you buy that plane ticket for visiting them, and you will be curled up on your floor crying asking what you had done to deserve so much of pain. But trust me, the pain will end.

The amount of happiness that you experience when you hear their voice after two days. The feelings that you go through every time you FaceTime each other. The excitement and pride in your voice every time you boast about them to your friends. The way you start talking about them the moment your parents ask how they are doing, and the way you get jealous about anyone else who gets to see them more often. All of it adds onto the amount of love you have for them, and the amount of patience that you never thought you could have.

Long distance relationships are dreadful. They are so beautiful, but also so painful that you feel giving up is the easiest option and start having negative opinions about your most cherished relationship. But please, don’t give up. All those nights that you stayed up to watch a movie together, virtually, and all those times that you thanked technology for making so many little things easier, in the end, it was all worth it.

I know it is difficult, and you want to cry so often you almost think you are weak. But trust me, you are strong and you will get through this. So many people will discourage a long distance relationship and demotivate you and ask you to ‘find someone in your vicinity’. Don’t give in. You have sacrificed so much, and been through so much of pain for that one person you love so much, and that person having to go through the equal amount of pain; in the end, it will be worth it. Think about how much you will appreciate your time together and how wonderful it will be to have them in your arms once again and to do every little thing together again.

Just hold on, and be a little more patient. I promise it will be worth it in the end.