Why Is It So Hard For People To Stick Around?

We’ve become so good at leaving.

We’ve become so good at quick exits and silent goodbyes.

We’ve been taught how to replace people not how to keep them.

We’ve been taught how to walk away not how to stay.

We’ve been taught to let people go instead of trying to make them ours.

We’ve become so confused, so lost, not sure if we want to stay away from love or we want to find the one to save us from life.

But I’m tired of people not sticking around. I’m tired of people not waiting a little longer. I’m tired of people taking hearts so lightly. I’m tired of people forgetting that we’re all human after all.

We’ve become so addicted to the chase, to hustling, to the next best thing, to the bigger house, to the nicer car, to the next destination, to the next big purchase but we’ve forgotten about our next home. Our next family. Our next forever. Our heart. 

We’ve forgotten that when we’re lying in bed at night crying, all we need is someone to hold us a little tighter and tell us that the world is not so cruel, that things will be okay, that we’re not as bad as we think we are.

We’ve forgotten that when we’re sick and can’t move our feet, we need someone to take care of us, we need someone to nurse us back to health and someone to make us feel like we don’t have to die alone. Someone to stay with us when we’re at our weakest and speak for us when we can’t use our voice.

We’ve forgotten that sometimes we’ll face really hard things in life that we just can’t face them on our own, we’ve forgotten that strength does not mean we don’t ask for help or a hand to hold, we’ve forgotten that no matter how independent we want to be, we still need people, we still need love, we still need someone to lean on when things get rough.

We’ve forgotten that we need to stick around more often. That we need to be more tolerant. That we need to be more patient.

We’ve forgotten that love takes time, that getting to know someone takes time, that understanding needs communication and commitment needs patience. We can’t expect to love people if we leave as soon as we feel that something is off. We can’t expect to ever be in an honest relationship if we keep lying to ourselves and to others about how we truly feel. We can’t expect to have something sold if we don’t build it on solid territory.

We’ve forgotten how to plant the seeds yet we want a whole garden.

We’ve forgotten that the basic and simplest first step to finding love is staying.

We don’t stick around anymore, we move on to the next, hoping that we’ll find something worth staying for.

But sometimes you will never find what you’re looking for if you don’t stop for a little while and dissect it; the hidden parts, the dark sides and the scars that are rooted deep inside. This is how you see someone’s real beauty, this is how you see someone’s real soul. This is how you fall in love but first, you have to stay. First, you need to stick around – just for a little while longer. Just for another day. Just for another hour.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.