I Miss The Place I Used To Call Home

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I miss the place I used to go to when I was tired, the place that used to comfort me when I was down, the place that was my safe haven, my escape from the world. I miss the place I didn’t think twice before going to, the place I knew always welcomed me with open arms.

Now I feel like this place is gone, it’s invaded by strangers, it’s no longer safe, it no longer feels like home.

I miss the place that always understood me, the place that always heard my silence and healed my wounds, the place that had my name inscribed in every corner, the place that always made me feel special, it always made me feel like I belong.

Now this place makes me feel lost. This place feels eerie. It feels foreign.

This place is no longer a dream, it’s a nightmare. It’s no longer heaven because it feels like hell.

I miss the place I used to call home. I miss you.

But you’re no longer the bed I run to when I’m tired because you’re the reason I cry at night.

You’re no longer the space that holds me together, you’re the empty walls that tear me apart.

You’re no longer the pillows I rest my head on to ease my mind, your softness feels so hard and your warmth feels so cold.

You’re no longer a place I can call my own, you’re no longer a place I can explore. Your doors are no longer open, your heart is no longer here.

You’re no longer available. You don’t have room for me.

I miss the place I used to call home but now I need to move. Now I need to leave. Now I need to find a place that wants me to stay.

I used to think that you’ll always be my home, that I will never need to look for another one, that you’re the home I’ll grow old in, you’re the home I want to live in forever but this home started falling apart, the bricks started eroding, the walls started cracking and the light no longer penetrated our universe, it’s now dark and starless.

I thought I found a home in you until you left me homeless.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Keep up with Rania on Instagram

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