1. When they talk about having kids even before you’ve said ‘I love you.’
“Talks about your kids together before you’ve said ‘I love you.’”
2. Double and triple texts because you don’t answer within 30 seconds.
“Double and triple texts/calls just because I don’t answer within 30 seconds? Better step off, girl.”
3. When they’re not OK with you not being available 24/7.
“If they text/call and you miss it for a legit reason, but they’re still upset with you…that’s a bad sign. A very bad one. A partner needs to be okay with you not being available 24/7.”
4. When they try to make you jealous.
“If she tries to make me jealous. The fact that she thinks it’s OK to make me unhappy just so she can have a little confidence boost.”
5. When they tell you to stop talking to all your friends of the opposite sex.
“Tells you to stop talking to all of your female friends ‘because they want to sleep with you.’ (Most of my female friends have boyfriends or had boyfriends at the time, plus I don’t sleep with my friends. Went down that path once, never again.)”
6. Excessive social-media policing.
“‘I saw you were on Facebook, why didn’t you like the picture I posted?’”
7. When they try to interfere with you seeing your friends.
“Tries to interfere with you seeing your friends (usually by suggesting very fun alternatives at the start).”
8. When they make a big deal if you need to postpone a date.
“Making a big deal if you need to postpone a date. Life happens outside of just you, and if s/he can’t accept that then it’s a dead giveaway this is a high maintenance person.”
9. When they passive-aggressively post memes or status updates about you without mentioning you by name.
“If they passive-aggressively post memes or statuses about something that you did without directly mentioning you, probably in the hopes that you will see it and message them about it. Just come to me directly with your problem. Don’t post another ‘If you can’t handle me at my worst…’ status…”
10. When they act like a strict parent.
“When they act like a strict parent and forbid you from doing things (jealousy is something you can allow to pass, but a control-freak? lmao bye).”
11. Pushiness.
“Last night was the last straw after he kept trying to push me (or as he said ‘suggest’) that I come over even though I told him no. He spent an hour arguing with me about it and trying to make me feel guilty by letting me know the amount of times he’s come to my house even when he didn’t want to.”
12. Extreme jealousy.
“If you mention a guy/girl friend’s name and your SO gets jealous, run. My ex was the extremely jealous type. Once he got mad at me because he imagined other guys talking to me. He was so insecure and sure of me cheating on him he cheated on me and threatened to make my life a living hell if I ever did the same. Sooooo get out while you can.”
13. When they act like you’re ‘perfect’ and they don’t even know you.
“Always watch out for signs that they’re using you as an emotional dress-up doll. What I mean is, some people have that one perfect ideal they want to fall in love with, sometimes it’s a fantasy, sometimes it’s an actual ex they’re not really over. And in every new relationship, the first thing they’ll do is start projecting this image onto you, trying to force round pegs into square holes of why you’re just so ‘perfect.’ They’re basically trying to dress you up as their ideal instead of getting to know (and fall in love with) the actual, real you.
This kind of behavior is cute when you’re 14 and with your first bf/gf. When you’re adult it’s kind of psychotic. But almost everybody does it, and it’s considered normal. They call it the ‘honeymoon’ phase. And some people will actually actively encourage the delusions just because new love feels so nice.
Later when the illusion breaks down, the whole relationship all goes to hell. But if you watch out for these warning signs early on, you can usually manage to untangle yourself from a psychotic mess before it even starts.”
14. When they don’t let little stuff go.
“Not willing to let little stuff go/waiting for you to screw up. Last girlfriend would constantly assume the worst of me over the stupidest little thing….She could turn any sentence into a malicious attack on her character.”
15. When they can’t handle you having a different opinion.
“When they can’t handle you having a different opinion or minor problem with them. Anything from ‘I’d rather you not call my work phone unless it’s urgent’ to ‘I’m not interested in seeing that band.’ The clingy partner’s response to anything but perfect harmony is to freak out and either apologize incessantly for having a different perspective, or badger aggressively to try to get you to agree with them.”
16. When they try to dictate what you can and cannot do.
“I dated a guy who was more clingy than crazy, but more than anything was just super inexperienced at the whole ‘dating thing.” (I was his first girlfriend and he was 27). He tried telling me I couldn’t listen to certain music because he got a bad feeling about it. This isn’t totally crazy since we’re both religious, but…no one tells me what I can and cannot do. Even my religious preferences. I CHOOSE to follow them. He also later accused me of not being supportive enough of his problems. Which was not at all true and also completely unfair if it was because my family was dealing with the fact that we had just found out my dad had a brain tumor (RIP). Again, I really don’t think he was TRYING to be manipulative and controlling and if I had the time and patience, I’d have taught him how to be better. But I didn’t. Partially because brain tumor dad and partially because I was his girlfriend, not his mother or babysitter. The breakup was amicable though.”
17. When they ask if you think someone else of their gender is hot.
“Asking if I think a certain guy is hot is a warning sign for me. In my experience it’s done by insecure guys who may just be looking for something to use against me or whatever.”
18. When they text ‘Good morning’ and ‘Goodnight’ every day after a first date.
“Texting ‘Good morning’ and ‘Goodnight’ every day after a first date. Also, the constant ‘What are you doing?’ Unless they have something to say to actually start a conversation, I find this constant checking-in annoying.”
19. When they want you to visit their church early on.
“Wanting you to visit their church very early on. They’re either trying to convert you or to get approval of their ‘church family.’”
20. When they get jealous and/or catty with your friends of the opposite sex.
“How they react/interact with my female friends is usually a telltale sign. If they get jealous or kind of catty, then that’s usually a sign of the crazies.”
—Uggs_are_ugly
21. When they show up uninvited while you’re out with friends.
“When you’re out with friends and they show up uninvited or more or less dictate that you meet them.”
22. They make you choose between your friends/family and them.
“If anyone says to you, ‘It’s your friends (and/or family) or me.’ Always, always, always choose friends and family. And fuck them for even putting that ultimatum on you.”
23. When they start talking about how you’ll live together in the future.
“If they start talking about how we’ll live together in the future. 14 when I dated her, she actually did this, as well as saying I love you too early. She pretty much planned to be a housewife for me, noped outta there.”
