She Loved You Fiercely, And You Will Miss Her Fiercely

She is the love affair you cannot, will not forget.

By

Brandon Woelfel
Brandon Woelfel

She is the storm you didn’t see coming.

Try as you might, you cannot look away. She begins as a gentle breeze the first time you talk to her. With her unassuming looks and soft words, she slowly captured your attention. With her, there is never a dull moment. A chemistry spark, tension overload, and emotions spilling over.

She’s unlike anyone you met. She’s unafraid to stand her ground and meet your gaze, squarely in the eyes. She’s wild and unpredictable, and her mood changes with the weather. You don’t know what she’s thinking and she bewitches you to a level you never thought possible.

You just want to be with her.

She is fearless and she loves fiercely. You thought she was a river, quiet and still, and you are the boat cruising through. But she’s the ocean current, strong and relentless. She’s the powerful wave that overturns your boat and makes you question everything you stand for.

You thought you could handle her tides. But you feel suffocated and way out of your depths. You thought you loved her. But now you are not so sure.

The truth is, the intensity of her love terrifies you and you don’t think you can match that.

The certainty of her love is a sharp contrast to your own wavering feelings and you start to doubt whether you can truly love her. Her selfless, generous nature creates a hole in your heart and you feel so undeserving that your guilt chokes you inside.

So instead of bettering yourself to be her equal, instead of seeing the magnificent beauty of the way she loves, instead of being strong enough to weather through her storm, you let her go.

You let her go with the explanation that she deserved better. You let her go with excuses of wrong timing and the circumstances that tore you both apart. You let her go with the pretense that you are doing it for her when it has always been about you.

And so you moved on with your life. You fell for another and you might even be happy in your new relationship now. But sometimes your mind still wanders to her, and if you can let yourself admit it, you miss her.

She is the love affair you cannot, will not forget.

She does not fade away like the explosive firework against the skyline or diminish like the dim stars across the clear sky. She is not the drizzling rain before the rainbow. Nor the blooming flowers that are celebrated for their short-lived beauty. She is the storm that ravages your life and leaves you never the same again. The immortal flame that burns forever in your memory. She is the metallic taste of blood in your mouth as you kiss another. The fallen angel that would drag you to hell with her even if it means forsaking her place in heaven.

She might not be the first girl you fell for, or the last one you’ll end up with, but she is definitely the one you will always remember. And she wants you to know that she’s thinking of you, too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark