What Your Girlfriend With Anxiety Wants, But Won’t Ever Ask For

She wants your reassurance without you perceiving her as ‘needy’. She wants to hear you say you love her and that you’re not going anywhere. She wants your arms around her as you say it, showing her with your affection how much you care.

She wants you to understand and not be annoyed when she asks the same question over and over. Sometimes talking out loud helps, even if you’ve already discussed it. Did we turn the oven off? Yes. Did we lock the doors? Yes. Will we be okay if something bad happens? Yes. She just wants to hear from the person she trusts the most that everything is going to be okay.

She wants you to remind her that she has nothing to be sorry for, even though she’s apologizing all the time.

She wants to be a team with you. If it makes her anxious to order food, or argue with the cable company over the phone she’d be grateful forever if you’d take these tasks over in exchange for her doing something you don’t like to do. She wants you to understand that this isn’t coddling her, couples divide up chores based on preference all the time.

She wants you to text her ‘good night’ and ‘good morning’ when you’re not sleeping together. What she needs most of all is a partner who is steady and loyal and these actions remind her of the reliability of your love.

She wants you to hold her in your arms at night when she might be anxious and tell her that it will all be okay. Whatever in the world can go wrong isn’t bigger than the two of you. She wants you to tell her that she is strong and capable — and reminding her that she’ll always have you on her side too.