All This Distance Between Us, Yet My Heart Still Aches For You

@thechasekennedy
@thechasekennedy

I.

I used to believe that time
was running out.
That if we didn’t have answers
That if you didn’t say those words
I needed to hear
when I needed to hear them
that we would cease
to be anything
that change would swallow us whole
and spit us out in two different part of the world
And that we’d forget
who we once were.
In many ways, I was right.
You left
I ran
You didn’t come back
And I watched sun set
on your memory.
But now I understand
that time never mattered
with love—with us.
You can’t erase
a person’s touch from your memory
or stop your heart from beating
at the mention of a name.
It was never about the hours
the months
the years
that would nestle between us.
With you and I,
time never stood a chance.

II.

Is it easy for you to pretend?
To tell yourself that I’ll always be
just out of reach
so you don’t have to extend
your arms, your heart
risk being broken
again.
Is it easy for you to imagine?
That I am somewhere else
someone else’s
just a someone
that you loved
and lost.
Is it easy for you to simply say ‘she’s gone?’
Than to see how far
your legs will take you.
Are you afraid
of what this, what us
could be?
Because I am too.
It’s easier for me to believe
That you’re the one who’s given up
than to acknowledge
I’m the one who left
And I’ve been missing you
ever since.

III.

You sent me a song
like something out of a movie, cliché
and absolutely perfect.
Just the lyrics
and a note
It makes me think of you.
And here I am
wrestling with what words
I could possibly write
to respond to the man
I love(d)
that would erase this distance.
But all I can do is listen
to those first opening notes
a song that already tugged at my heart
now heavy with new meaning.
I breathe in this salt-water air
and sing along with the chorus
as loud as I can.
I hope the wind carries this melody
to wherever you are.
I hope you know my heart
never stopped singing
for you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com

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