13 Former Self-Proclaimed Jerks On That One Special Girl Who Changed Them For Good

Real guys share how a girl inspired their personal transformations.

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1. “For years after graduating college, I lived the life of a grade-A fuckboy bachelor. I would hook up with a different girl every Friday and Saturday night, let them believe that I cared, and then ghost them all like I was entitled to play God with women’s feelings. My current girl and I met on Tinder and a week after sleeping with her and not texting her back, she called me out for being the scumbag I was. She wrote me this long email and she wasn’t even mad—just sad that someone like me existed. That’s what got me. She woke me up to my sad reality. I begged for forgiveness and a fresh start and thankfully she gave it to me. We’re still together, and I plan to keep it that way.”

— Javier, 26

2. “My girlfriend is the light of my life, literally. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have met her. Without her, I’d be stuck in my narrow-minded ways. She has this way of introducing me to new ideas and teaching me to see the positive in life without being at all patronizing. I’ve never met anyone like her and I probably don’t even deserve her but I plan to hold on tight for good.”

— Christopher, 25

3. “I used to think it was cool to be a jerk. I thought ‘good guys’ were lame. Damn, I was an idiot. My girlfriend of five years pointed that out. She nailed my type on our first date—told me straight up that she knew I was the kind of guy to hump and dump a girl like her—and I couldn’t deny that she was right. Just like that, she disempowered me and made me really think. Let’s just say I didn’t sleep with her that first night. Instead, I asked her out again. And then again. It’s like she unearthed my inner gentleman, and I will always be indebted to her for that.”

— Serguei, 30

4. “God, I’m lucky. The woman I call my wife is the most wonderful human I’ve ever met. She rescued me at a time when I couldn’t even see that I needed rescuing. I used to fuck. Now, I make love to the woman I consider the love of my life.”

— Norman, 29

5. “When she looked into my eyes for the first time—we met at a support group for cancer survivors—it’s like she saw straight past all of my ugly parts to my wholesome core, which I’d kinda forgotten existed. I’d been having some tough luck in life, and it was easier to be an angry, bitter, resentful asshole than to try to appreciate the good stuff. She’s such a strong person, my girl. She went through hell with her illness, way worse than I did, but she managed to come out of it a better person. She taught me how to adjust my attitude. We’re engaged as of last month.”

— Foster, 42

6. “My girlfriend of six months is the best listener I’ve ever met. For a while throughout my twenties, I thought it was dumb to talk. I didn’t think most people had much to contribute, let alone myself. But my girlfriend asks the most heartfelt questions, and she listens with her soul. She made me feel so at ease, like I could be myself. I am forever grateful to her and I don’t plan on letting her go.”

— Matt D, 25

7. “Her smile is what changed me. How can you be a dick in the face of so much authentic kindness?”

— Weston, 27

8. “She forgave me. I made a massive mistake and I tried to get away with it. She certainly didn’t have to forgive me for sleeping with her best friend, but she did. I remember suddenly realizing how amazing a person has to be to find it in her heart to do that. My fiancée has a tremendous capacity for love, and that’s the kind of woman I want to spend my entire life with.”

— Christian, 31

9. “I was assigned to work with her on a project and I remember grumbling at first because I’ve always preferred to work alone. She was so patient and kind, even in the face of my obnoxious behavior. Finally, I realized that I could either keep ostracizing myself, or be nice and have the privilege of enjoying the company of someone like her. Eventually we started flirting and I asked her out on a proper date and that was it.”

— Rafael, 33

10. “I’m a pretty reclusive guy because I have trouble socializing. I’ve never felt comfortable at parties, and a lot of my past girlfriends used to hate that about me. I could sense that so I’d become resentful and treat them badly and then wait for them to break up with me. The girl I’m currently dating—she gets me. She doesn’t try to make me someone I’m not, or force me to go out at night when I’d rather stay in. She likes me for who I am, and that makes it so easy to treat her well.”

— Bobby, 26

11. “I used to be a misanthropic asshole. I hated everyone, even my friends, kind of. But she called me out. She told me I was a miserable human being and that I had two options in life: change the way I operate, or continue to live in my own miserable little dark bubble. It took a few weeks for me to muster the courage to thank her for that awakening but she was receptive and we soon went on the first of many awesome dates.”

— Kyle, 29

12. “For months, I observed her at the office out of the corner of my eye. She made it impossible to sit there complaining at my desk about the regular stuff. Her presence was just so warm and inviting. I can’t believe I’m about to use this word, but she’s nothing short of MAGICAL. She asked me to lunch one day and for the first time in a long time, I made myself vulnerable and I’ve never looked back.”

— Finnegan, 28

13. “One day I’m standing at the bus stop and I see this girl voluntarily help an old man get settled on a bench. Then she actually sits next to him and starts asking him all of these considerate questions. If someone like that exists, I thought to myself, the world can’t actually be all that bad. I had to ask her out, and I’m so glad that I did.”

— Neel, 30 Thought Catalog Logo Mark