Why Age Matters In Relationships
We tend not to deviate with the norm which is having partners with a wide age gap, some seem to make it work while others fall back and start over.
Going through life while searching for the perfect relationship can be tough more so when there seems to be a small wedge from the start, that’s when we get to consider new perspectives and find new meaning within ourselves and others.
There are statistics that back up these basis for age gap differences but as of now let’s be somewhat neutral and a wee bit personal. And really, were not here to look at the formula on how to know the socially acceptable age for a relationship which is your age divided by two plus seven, c’mon who has time for that.
Age does matter no matter what other people think, they tend to assume that just because you’re happy means you’re contented, just because there’s chemistry means it’s what we’ve been looking for. There are different layers that people in love tend not to see and happiness is just one of them. You can’t build a relationship with happiness alone, it needs a lot of work to keep it together, there is no couple out there who doesn’t have some sort of problem, which eventually gets settled later on, and those who say they don’t have to re-evaluate themselves and the bond there in because that’s what a working relationship looks like, a messy joyous one.
People come to the conclusion that just because they are a few years apart that’s considered such an age difference.
Age won’t matter if the gap isn’t as wide as you think, there is a difference between talking about what movies are considered the best in the last few years and what it was like to live in a world where the best thing there was dial-up internet.
Not to mention political viewpoints, future plans, relatable friends, music and all the things in between that round up a relationship in the day to day events can make a huge difference. The Tendency is that one of the partners will be unhappy due to these factors.
Some blooming adolescents have mature thinking patterns while some adults have a tender way of thinking and that’s alright, for now. It doesn’t have to be a “meeting of the minds” all the time, people tend to fall just because. Doesn’t everybody long for a stable and long-lasting relationship?
Some people when they fall into love, they really do fall into love. In a perfect world that’s enough to last. This is usually under the “I don’t care what other people think” category and don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that, I will personally salute you for that.
But like I said your emotions aren’t just the only factor in a relationship. If you seem to find the same passion, likes and dislikes then by all means but that raging attraction alone is not enough to sustain a suitable lifestyle in long coming years. Even the best of us fall out of love for menial things what more if the other is looking ahead to the future and the other is still stuck in the present.
Love is boundless and is ageless but understanding the underlying reason behind it also doesn’t hurt. It’s often said that when people date older people they tend to be looking for a parental figure, they can also be insecure about themselves and look for security in someone older.
As well a person looking for someone younger who doesn’t seem to find anyone their own age or at least close to that. There are underlying issues that need to be established out in the open for relationships to work. The two key factors that I believe in are trust and communication and those won’t work if the personal distress of each aren’t dealt with individually while at the same time not getting the other sucked into whatever internal struggle their dealing with.
Before running off with that person you saw in the bar or that person you saw screaming out Bingo! Know what kind of relationship you want and try to comprehend if this is the person for the job, you wouldn’t want to be wasting each other’s time and energy which could be best put to good use somewhere else, or someone else.
If there comes a point in your life where it comes to that , try not to dwell on it, things could get messy which can lead to both partners self-conscious and misunderstanding each other. Bridge the gap between you two, age difference can be a good opportunity to bond and understand each other further.
“The brain and the heart will always be in a struggle and will be difficult to understand but in those often times they do work together it can be a magical thing.” 