To The Man I Hope To Love Someday

I may have met you already, or maybe I haven’t yet. We may be breathing the same air in this small, quiet city, or maybe we’re still thousands of miles away right now. I might get to be with you tomorrow or the next day or some years from now…

…but it doesn’t matter because today, I am one day closer.

Right now, I am still in no rush. I probably am not that ready. I am still on the process of being my best self. If I get to meet you at this moment, you might not be my first priority yet. I still spend most of my time building up my career, and I still don’t have time to bake for you when you crave for a slice of moist chocolate cake…

…but I am preparing myself to become the independent woman that you could grow with.

You should also understand that I have flaws that took me more than twenty years to love. I don’t know if you’ll learn to love them, but I hope you do. My hair doesn’t stay in place most of the time, it always messily falls on my face. I don’t have the prettiest hand to hold, or the brightest eyes to look at. You might also find it weird how my nose wrinkles when I laugh. I am also not attractive when I am fast asleep…

…but who knows? Maybe those imperfections are what will make you love me even more.

I also want you to know that I’m not a scratch-free masterpiece. I’ve been damaged a couple of times before. I’ve been cheated on and that’s probably what made me distrustful. I’ve fought battles where I ended up losing. They probably made me tough. Tougher than needed, actually. You won’t imagine how lost I have gotten before you came and how I’ve been dying for you to find me. I’ve been waiting for you to embrace the mess that I’ve become…

…but I also know that there will come a time that you would hurt me. However, unlike the rest, seeing me hurt will hurt you twice as much.

Lastly, I want you to know that I am not easy to love. There will be times where I will get mad over the smallest things. I will always ask you to remind me that I am wanted, I would like to hear that over and over – upon seeing your face in the morning and before I close my eyes at night. I also want you to know that on rough days, when I’m at the verge of giving up, all you have to do is to lock me up in your arms because deep down, I don’t want a second in my life without you…

…but above all these, I will always strive to be worthy.

I will make the best coffee for you in the morning. I will be there for you after a long day at work and look at you like a superhero who just saved the world. I will give you everything that the past has failed to give you. I will take all your pain away and I will be the only one you call “home.”