Here Are The Deadly Micro-Mistakes Your S.O.’s Parents Will Judge You On Forever
Bringing your cleavage to the party. Your S.O might appreciate it but their parents won’t.
It’s the critical moment. The moment your worlds align. You’re meeting your significant other’s parents. No need to be scared, just be sure to brush your teeth. You will yourself to not act like the wedgie picker, the over-mayo applier, the clinging backpack kind of person you are. The encounter is inevitably going to be slightly uncomfortable. Your armpits are going to be unreasonably sweaty, you’re not going to be sure whether you can actually wipe your face on their fancy cloth napkins or if you need to take your shoes off at the door but these aren’t the real mishaps. Here are micro-mistakes that could potentially make you the butt of the family joke for thanksgiving meals to come:
1. Forgetting to zip your pants after you go to the bathroom.
2. Bringing up intimate details from you and your S.O.’s sex life.
3. Leaning your head in your hands at the dinner table.
4. Bringing up the upcoming election (uncharted territory for a reason: you don’t want to know they’re voting for Trump and they don’t want to know you were a Bernie supporter)
5. Not offering to help cook, clean, play games with your S.O.’s niece.
6. Allowing your S.O. to steer/direct the conversation. Have conviction!
7. Biting your nails in front of your S.O.’s mom.
8. Picking a fight with your S.O. in front of them. Doesn’t matter how much of a dingus they’re being.
9. Wearing UGG boots.
10. Bringing up your ex-S.O.’s.
11. Be constantly texting/instagramming/snapchatting on your phone (it’s uncool regardless of the generation your hosts were born in).
12. Bringing your slobbery dog (nobody else thinks it’s as cute as you, promise).
13. Fidgeting incessantly.
14. Chewing with your mouth wide open.
15. Cursing. It’s a good meal—Not ‘fucking amazing.’ Save it for the bedroom.
16. Calling them by their first name before you know how they want to be addressed.
17. Bringing your cleavage to the party. Your S.O. might appreciate it but their parents won’t.
18. P.D.A— don’t sit on his/her lap. Just don’t.
19. Being nosy. Maybe your S.O.’s mother would prefer not to talk about her complicated relationship with her own parents.
20. Forgetting mouthwash.
21. Letting your thong peek out of your jeans. Don’t be that girl!!
22. Having loud sex in their house.
23. Complaining incessantly. It’s not that cold outside. Your stomach is fine.
24. Sending food back at a restaurant. Don’t be a diva.
25. Pulling a Megan Fox. Don’t read anyones palms, it’s just weird.
26. Only talking about yourself.
27. Trying to be someone you’re not. Be yourself—they’ll love you!