A Letter To The Boy Who Wants Me: This Is Why I Haven’t Said ‘Yes’ (At Least, Not Yet)

It’s been a while since my recent breakup – maybe weeks or months? I don’t know, I’ve lost track of time. Unlike the other girls who went through the state of moving on, I long ago quit reminding myself of the day I decided to let go of my then magical-turned-eye-opening love story. I stopped counting the days that I’ve been single because my realizations during my period of freedom are more worthy of my time.

I’m in my mid-20s, others are in their 30s, few seem to still be mingling around even when they’re already in their 40s and 50s, yet none of us settled for in a relationship because freedom taught us that we do not deserve to be in the wrong one.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because a relationship is a commitment bonded with trust and respect, not just love alone. As the song goes, sometimes love’s just ain’t enough. While the flattery of being admired by someone you reciprocally like is a justifiable reason for saying yes, I hold back knowing this is not the only ingredient that keeps a relationship going. I come to my senses before I get carried away with all the killing emotions – such could be very temporary. I have to be sure first that he respects me and that I can trust him by making him wait long enough for me to assess him. Because I don’t plan to have him around temporarily. I want him to be around permanently.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because I have standards. Yes, we all have those! But mine are on the more realistic side and I swear, it’s nothing that includes specific physical attributes nor riches. Choosy? No. My freedom has allowed me to explore and know the type of man I need in my life and that includes him being brave enough to meet my preferences because he knows I’m worth it. Ladies, a man who’s too lazy to achieve you as a goal is a man who’d rather not sweat things out and would settle for less – you know better than being that type of girl.

I haven’t said “yes” yet because he has standards, too. Yes, they are humans as well. I couldn’t demand for a guy the way I want him to be when in the first place, I’ve not made myself worthy for him. It’s a two-way process in here! While I might have done things in the past that would mark me down on his dream girl list, I believe it’s never too late to turn the vessel around. Up to now, I could say that I’m still on the process of finding myself: continuously learning about life, fixing flaws, nailing careers, being independent, and trying my best to stay reserved. Only when I achieve such goals will I be able to love myself fully. Until then, I can consider myself worthy of his preferences.

So how long will I stay single? Until the day I run out of all the reasons to say “NOT YET”.