1. Who you follow on Instagram.

A confident couple doesn’t worry about likes and follows. Whether he follows every Victoria’s Secret model since the early 90s or his ex girlfriend who you know wants him back, a partner who is confident in their relationship knows that no matter who you’re following on social media, you choose to be with each other at the end of each day. You each can like a photo that 10 million other people have seen, but that photo will never be as real as the relationship you two share.

2. Who your partner is looking at while you’re out.

There’s no such thing as a wandering eye when you both have an eye for each other. You can each appreciate that yes, other attractive individuals exist who are not either of you, but looking at someone you think is beautiful is nothing compared to the beautiful feeling you have when you’re around each other. The laughs you share, the memories you have, even your bat shit crazy arguments all mean more than a simple glance at a pair of fake boobs or bulging biceps.

3. Who’s looking at your partner while you’re out.

A confident couple sees other people checking their partner out as a compliment. You know how great they are, how hot, funny, or charming they are, and when other people notice, it just confirms every reason you’re with them.

4. The time each of you spend alone.

People who are secure in their relationship don’t mind when their partner takes time for themselves. You both understand the importance of being your own person. You are a couple, but there are two individuals who make up that couple, and each of you respects this. There’s no offense taken during weekends with the girls, or golf outings with the guys. You love to be with each other, but you can also appreciate your time apart.

5. How much money you spend on one another.

While financial issues can cause numerous types of conflict in any relationship, the amount of money spent on one another is not your main concern. When you make a purchase for your partner it’s something that you know will make them happy, and it makes you happy in return. You don’t keep track of whose birthday gift was more expensive, and you don’t care whether you receive a homemade meal or diamond earrings for your anniversary. You appreciate the things you do for one another, whether they’re material purchases or not, and you don’t over analyze price tags. You make each other happy, and as long as you’re both financially responsible, dollar signs aren’t the only thing you see.

6. Who’s in your default photos on social media.

There’s no fights over whether his profile picture is with his buddies, or his dog, or you. You know the foundation of your relationship is stronger than a photo. He doesn’t think twice about why you changed your default of you and him at his best friend’s wedding, to a photo of you and your mom, chances are he doesn’t even notice, and if he does, he doesn’t care. Social media is an insignificant ripple in the wave of your relationship.

7. How sexy either of you dress.

You love it when your partner looks sexy, and they feel the same about you. They don’t tell you to change when you decide to let the girls out for the night in a low-cut top, and they don’t become jealous or uncomfortable if people stare when you do. Your attraction for each other is undeniable, and when you both look your best, it becomes all the more fiery.

8. How long you’ll be together.

Time is not an issue when you know you have something special. You don’t set ultimatums for cohabitation, marriage, or children. You don’t tell them that if they don’t propose within the year, you’ll leave. When you’re with someone you truly love, every moment you get to spend with them is something you cherish, and neither one of you takes the time you share for granted. There may be fear that one of you will leave, but the happiness you experience together outweighs the hesitation. In a secure relationship, time is simply each day you get to share another smile when you’re with the one you love.