You Are Not Any Less Of A Woman Just Because He Left

My heart breaks for you, sweetie.

All the moments and memories you shared, all the ways you gave your heart away, all the times you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, to believe in love, to trust in a man to mean his ‘I love yous.’

I can’t even imagine the weight of the pain on your beautiful heart.

But I want you to know something: Your heart isn’t any less beautiful now that he’s gone. Your soul doesn’t have any less sparkle with him not by your side.

You are not any less of a woman because he left, I promise you this.

I know you are aching. I know you are angry. I know you are a thousand emotions all mixed together that sometimes you don’t even know how to feel.

I know you’re caught up in wanting him back.

I know you’re trying to navigate this life change, maybe with the burden of judgment on your shoulders, maybe with the complication of children, maybe with an uncertain longing to stay true to your faith that’s started to burn a hole in your heart.

But I want you to know that you will get through this.

I want you to know that even though you feel like you have no strength, you will find the energy to fight and stay true to the person you are, to battle like you’ve battled through so many other things in your life.

I know your heart is shattered into hundreds of tiny, terrified pieces of who you used to be.

I know you aren’t sure of your next step, even your next breath—but I promise you there is a light off in the distance, and God off in the distance. Even if you can’t see it, even if you can’t see Him, He’s there. And He’s longing for you.

I know you’re anxious about where to go, about who you are, about how you’re going to build a life with your man no longer in it. But I hope you trust that things will fall into place over time, that God will stand beside you and guide you through.

I hope you know that you’re not alone.

You are allowed to feel broken right now. You are allowed to be confused, to be scared, to be angry, to be bitter, to be sad. You must feel all these things, then try to let them go. Try to turn your face towards healing. Try to not let these emotions take control of your heart and mind.

Please know that you are not any less amazing, any less focused, any less driven, any less of a good mother, good sister, good aunt, good daughter, good niece, good worker, or good friend just because he left.

You are not any less strong because he left.

You are not any less of who you’ve always been just because he turned his back on your love.

Healing takes time. But you are a courageous woman.

Keep fighting. Keep looking forward.
Keep your head high and your heart open.

Be the incredible, fearless, passionate woman you are.

You will always be you, even if he’s gone.

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Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.