How To Tell If An ESFJ Likes You (As Told By 10 ESFJs)

ESFJs are known for being warm, friendly and anticipatory of others’ needs. As a result, it can be difficult to determine when this type likes you as a friend and when they like you as something more. Below, 10 ESFPs explain how they behave when they’re interested in someone romantically.

1. “When I like someone I pay a lot of attention to them and manage to think of things they need and offer it before they do (I.e.: honey in tea, ketchup for fries). It’s so subconscious that I don’t realize I’m not also doing it for everyone else.”

2. “The biggest sign that I like someone is that I’m paying attention to them! I’ll go out of my way to start a conversation and engage in texting/emailing/etc frequently. When I like someone, I tend to remember things that turn into ‘inside jokes’ and take every reasonable opportunity to insert them into conversation. I usually am careful to remember things they like and parts of our conversation to bring up later (to start more conversations!). If I like you, I prioritize you!”

3. “I smile, flirt, and compliment them and if that doesn’t work…..bake them cookies.”

4. “Honestly, I will want to spend all of my time with you. If I like you, it’s because I think you’re cool and we have similar interests–I’ll probably propose day trips and activities, or ask you out to a meal. I’ll never come out and say that I like you, though, so you’ll have to make the move if you want to be more than friends.”

5. “When I like someone I text them a LOT and remember every single detail about them.”

6. “I always pay attention to the people around me and try to remember their likes/dislikes, etc. but with the person I like, I do so much more attentively. I might ask them what kind of foods they like and then surprise them with it one day, or invite them out to a show that I think they’d enjoy. Basically I’ll make an active effort to show that I’m engaged in them and their interests, rather than a passing effort.”

7. “When I like a girl I don’t waste any time asking her out. I don’t believe in games or playing hard to get – I want the woman I’m with to feel special and to know how much I care about her from the very first date.”

8. “Honestly when I like someone they usually find out because I tell EVERYBODY. I can’t help it. My friends all know and then eventually his friends all know… but sometimes that works out for the best. Because then if he likes me back, he can make a move without worrying about it!”

9. “I’m very friendly with everyone so when I like a girl I have to go the extra mile. I might buy her small gifts or playfully tease her. When we’re talking, I’ll lean in close and maybe put a hand on her back or arm. Touch is a big giveaway for me – with the exception of hugging. I hug everyone.”

10. “I show someone I like them by initiating a lot of conversation. Honestly I have the hardest time NOT talking to the person I like. I always want to text them or hang out with them and I usually seek them out at parties or at work (if we work together). I’m the worst at hiding my feelings!”