1. First, be clear.

There’s nothing wrong with being open and clear about your intentions, especially in the world of Tinder. In fact, most guys will respect you for that. Now you don’t want to freak anyone out, so saying, “Hey, I’m looking for a future husband,” is definitely not the way to go about this. But saying something like, “I’m not really looking for something casual/a fling,” or “I’m not interested in just hooking up” is clear, concise, and confident.

You’re a woman who knows what she wants and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

2. DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE.

Okay, duh. But seriously. If you’re looking to be with a guy long-term, or not even long-term but actually IRL rather than just a one-night stand, then don’t sleep with him right away. I mean, you can if you want, but if you want him to respect you as a potential girlfriend, then waiting is a good idea.

This isn’t a game of keep-away or the opportunity to be a tease—but if you’re looking to be a girl this guy sees as dating material, then jumping into the bedroom too soon will wreck all your chances.

3. Hangout during daylight hours.

Another ‘duh’ moment. But if you’re looking to be more than a booty call, make sure you aren’t just hanging out with this dude after midnight.

Trust me, if he’s interested in you, he won’t just call you to Netflix and chill or to go to the bars with him. He’ll take you on a date or at least text you on a Saturday afternoon.

4. Make a move sometimes.

You can’t be his booty call if you’re the one initiating conversation. Now there’s an art to this. Don’t text him at night like he’s your booty call (obviously!) but don’t be afraid to make a move sometimes. Invite him to do something with your group of friends on the weekend, text him first to show you’re interested. These are subtle ways of showing him you’re actually into him, and not just trying to be a hookup.

5. Actually have conversation.

You don’t need to be a complete prude with this guy, but don’t spend all your time lip-locked on a living room couch. To become even slight girlfriend material, you’re going to have to get to know one another, so actually talk. Whether he starts a conversation or you do, it doesn’t matter. But talk about things, below-the-surface things. Get to know each other, share details about your lives. If he starts to open up to you, he’ll see you as more of a girlfriend prospect. Guaranteed.

6. Remember the difference between being a flirt and a tease.

If you’re trying to get a guy to see you as a ‘bae’ then be fun and flirty rather than overly sexual. This applies to how you present yourself, what you say/text, and whether or not you’re clear about your intentions.

7. Don’t be afraid to say no.

Let’s face it, sometimes situations get the best of us. Whether it’s over the phone or in person, things may get a little escalated, but regardless of what happens, know that you can always back out of a situation if it doesn’t feel right to you.

You may be totally into a guy, but if you want to be more of a girlfriend than a one-night stand, don’t be afraid to say no. No to sex, no to hanging out late at night, no in general. If he’s the kind of guy you want to be with, he’ll respect you for not doing something you’ll end up regretting later. And he might actually end up feeling the same way about it, too.

8. Propose other alternatives to hooking up.

So you reallllyyy like this guy, but he calls you at 2AM to ‘chill’. Yeah, not interested.

There is a solution, however. And one that doesn’t mean giving up all your hopes and dreams of being together. Propose an alternative. Instead of watching a movie at 2AM, see if he’ll grab coffee in the morning. It’s a way to show that you like him, without making yourself a booty call kind of girl.

It’ll also help weed him out, if he’s only interested in you during the wee hours of the night.

9. Be yourself.

You don’t have to change yourself for any guy. Remember that. If you’re not a booty call girl, then don’t be one. You’re an awesome person just how you are, so look for a guy that sees that and doesn’t just want you for night, but for the long haul.