In a world full of conflicting and easily-accessible online sex advice, it’s tough to decide which tips to actually try out. While the majority of online sex advice focuses on positions, specific acts, or “what to do with your hands,” online sexperts often neglect to focus on the verbal aspect of sex. But, when done right, creating an in-the-moment dialogue can take your partner’s pleasure to the next level. Not sure what to say? Look no further. As you and your partner are getting down to business, try asking one of the following:

1. “Do worms have ears?”

2. “What is your biggest grammar-related pet peeve?”

3. “Have you ever added potato chips to a sandwich for a little extra crunch?”

4. “Honestly, how familiar are you with the Rancho Carne Toros’ cheers from Bring It On?”

5. “Would you be frightened if I asked for both a burrito AND a bowl at Chipotle because I just couldn’t decide?”

6. “Do you ever wonder if Amelia Earhart actually got abducted by aliens?”

7. “If you were a character in The Oregon Trail, would you rather die of measles or dysentery?”

8. “Do you still have your TI-84 plus from high school and, if so, could I borrow it to play some calculator games?”

9. “Can I hear your best Danny DeVito impersonation?”

10. “Did you vote in your state’s presidential primary election?”

11. “Have you ever made your own hummus?”

12. “Are there any good Salem Witch Trial documentaries on Netflix right now?”

13. “Do you remember the proper technique for writing a lower case ‘b’ in cursive?”

14. “What’s in your wallet?”

15. “Do you cry a little when you vomit or are you a tear-free puker?”

16. “Where can I find a good pair of touch screen gloves that I can text with?”

17. “Do you accept that ‘orange’ rhymes with ‘door-hinge?’”

18. “What would you do, realistically, for a Klondike bar?”

19. “Do you still consider Pluto to be a planet?”

20. “Did you know that Whole Foods doesn’t sell Cheeze-Its?”

Okay, real talk: The truth about sex is that there are no surefire tips, tricks, dirty words, or universal turn-ons that will ensure you’re giving your sexual partner the best sex of their lifetime. Regardless of what magazines or blogs depict what “special ways to use your tongue,” no one sexual act will please every partner you’ll ever have in your life. Why? Because sex is one of the most individualized experiences that humans can have.

Different people are into different things and the only true way to find out how to best please your partner is to (shocker) ask them. The sexiest question you can ever ask is some variation of: “What do you like?”

Follow that up with a willingness to engage in whatever they prefer doing in the bedroom—and things will likely work out. And while making sure your partner is pleased should be something on your radar, you also need to make sure that you are getting exactly what you want out of sex, too. When two people (or more than two people) are on the same page about both what they want and what the other person wants, that is when you experience the best sex of your lives. So, stop searching for that one, magical, orgasm-inducing sex move and start talking to the one person you’re actually having sex with.