You Should Still Be Here: A Letter To My Dad In Heaven On His Birthday

March 26th. This day, like all of the other holidays and milestones will bring with it a fresh round of hurt, grief, pain, and tears. This is your second birthday in heaven, and I can assure you that it won’t be any easier than the first one was.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, and how things would be different if you were still here. You would have seen Tony and I graduate college with honors. You would have seen my last season of college softball, and Tony’s last season of college football. You would have helped me move in for my Disney College Program, and Tony for graduate school in Mississippi.

I could still call you on the phone and ask for directions,(and even though I am in Florida I have no doubt you would have known how to get me where I need to be) This shouldn’t be the second birthday we have celebrated without you, because you should still be here. We shouldn’t know what any of this feels like.

You should still be here cheering us on, and letting us know that you will be here for us every step of the way. You should still be here, to be with mom, to be selling ice cream (and anything else you could) and to have continued to make the world around you a better place. But you’re not here. And it’s not fair. I know you didn’t have a choice in the matter, and I know you were tired because you gave so much of yourself so freely. God only takes the best, so He chose you. And I miss you more than words can say.

But because you are not here, I have to live out the legacy that you left, and I hope I am making you proud of the person you taught me to be. I have grown a lot since you have been gone, and I have learned that I am definitely your daughter, and I am proud of all of the traits you gave me. As the lyrics to one of my favorite songs says, “It’s been a long day without you my friend, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. We’ve come a long way from where we began, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.” Happy 2nd birthday in heaven daddy. Even though you should still be here, I know you wouldn’t trade your seat in heaven for anything. Missing you always, and loving you forever.

Your baby girl.