23 INTJs Share The Ways In Which They Defy The INTJ Stereotype

INTJs – or introverted, intuitive, thinking judgers – are known for being rational, intelligent and a little on the cold side emotionally. But not every INTJ fits this bill to a T. Below, 23 INTJs explain the ways in which they defy the habits that are commonly associated with their personality type.

1. “I work in a counselling-type role, so I spend all day talking to people and being very feelings-oriented. I’ve also seen things that say in the workplace we will only lead if we have to and we don’t like socializing, but I am pretty fond of being in a leadership role and I socialize a little too much at work.”

2. “I am very empathetic and sensitive to others’ pain and suffering. Although a loner at heart, I get lonely when I’m not around people.”

3. “I am always late. I think typically people of my type like to be on time but I hate waiting and socializing – so especially when it comes to social gatherings, I love to be late. Anything work related though or something I deem as important, I will be very early.”

4. “I love fashion and interior design. I think naturally fashion seems to be below and shallow for INTJs. And while that is partially true because I never really care what people think of my outfit as long as I love it. I love trying new styles and not fitting the mold of what the classic girl is wearing. I try to stay one step ahead and love trying things other girls my age wouldn’t. It is a way for me to be creative and let my intuitive side kind of be free at work.”

5. “People expect INTJs to be super organized because we’re so methodical in the way that we approach life. My apartment is a total mess! (But, in typical INTJ fashion, I could still tell you where almost anything is anytime it’s needed).”

6. “INTJ’s are known to excel at anything they put their minds too. However, they are seen as weak in casual social interactions and as though they would prefer to avoid them. Even though I fit that stereotype a bit in high school, I found that our innate confidence made social situations tolerable. We are also not clueless when it comes to emotions. Perhaps we do not feel them on the same level as others, but we still can have a great enough social IQ to walk in a room and read the emotional atmosphere. Not to mention, those of us less emotionally attune are still built to effectively compensate for what we lack. Personally, I am anticipating on combining my objective analyzing skills with a fascination about human behavior to become a psychologist. So I don’t appreciate our emotionally-clueless stereotype.”

7. “Believe it or not, I do care what others think of me. In many regards I am sensitive to criticism (but that IS because I almost always think I’m right). I also have a soft spot for romantic gestures.”

8. “People usually think INTJs are efficiency-oriented, even at the expense of the feelings of others. This results in the dismissal of INTJs as unemotional, even cold-hearted. However, I find myself empathizing (sometimes painfully and) vicariously with certain people in certain situations. For example, I’ve recently watched a series that discusses the effects of technological singularity on humans, and I felt such a deep-seated respect for the protagonist that I was all choked up. I think, not in spite of, but BECAUSE I am an INTJ that I am able to be a nice person. We are slow to anger, very thoughtful, and rarely impulsive, which make us excellent people to turn to for advice and solutions. Moreover, I’d like to believe that a well-developed INTJ is able to factor in the possibility that emotions are not the antithesis to rationality, but one of the many relevant variables in our calculation of what constitutes a successful and happy life.”

9. “INTJs are often associated with the ‘know-it-all’ quality that they have, and sometimes it rings true for me. But most of the time, I’m almost always eager to learn from other people. The way and why they think are so important to me, and I can always take their views into consideration and using that to my advantage in making decisions; the arguments they have only push me to make the best decision possible. It almost becomes like another ‘voice’ inside my head. One that I’ll use to make sure I’m doing is sound, and even backing up my own arguments. All in all, I just wanna pick your brain.”

10. “Supposedly as an INTJ, I’m supposed to hate physical contact in relationships of all stripes. But I actually like hugs/cuddling. I thrive on physical touch, particularly in sexual/romantic relationships. For the life of me I can’t understand why people think I wouldn’t want that.”

11. “They say INTJs are intimidating but I am actually quite friendly. They say we don’t like small talk but if so, that’s the INTJ’s fault. It is a matter of asking the right questions to make it interesting. It is said that INTJ doesn’t show emotion, but, I am very cheerful.”

12. ” I am deeply emotional – people who know me well know I am not afraid to cry or express emotions in front of them. I am humanitarian – I want the best for people and my pursuits are very focused around making the world a better place. While I am very assertive, I am not pushy – I’ll let someone try their way and only step in to help or show them a better way once I think they have tried enough to realize that my way is better. Often by doing this I find that I actually learn something in the process.”

13. “INTJs are usually very decisive–I am not! I think it comes from the part of my personality type that is always trying to find the best/most efficient way of doing things. How am I supposed to commit to one when something better might be out there?!”

14. “I am a strong Christian. I have struggled with low self esteem even though people think all INTJs are self-confident. I’m sentimental. Gifts are my primary love language which is almost unheard from what I’ve read. Apparently we’re supposed to be against heels and I enjoy wearing heels.”

15. “I’m not at all uncaring or un-understanding of peoples emotions or feelings. I’m very in tune with people around me, especially the ones I care about and want to help. The problem is I don’t know how to help people or express myself a lot of the time.”

16. “I have very strong Fi, so a lot of times i break the INTJ mold. I am very affectionate and showy with my past and current girlfriend. I hug in public, I kiss in public and I am not short with words of affection. I also know how the people around me feel and I understand why they feel that way even if they are against the things that I say and stand for. Sadly, I am terrible with academics and i did not even earn a college degree. It is a far cry from the stereotype that INTJs are academic achievers.”

17. “INTJs are not psychopaths. I actually spend much of my time caring for other people, but usually in a way that makes me look smart. Like math tutoring and fixing computers. Being stereotyped as emotionless makes me the tiniest bit sad.”

18. “INTJs are usually given the designations “architect”, “scientist”, “strategist”, “mastermind”, etc, of which almost every site acknowledges the intrinsic association with jobs like software engineers, lawyers, and scientific pursuits. I won’t deny that I can pore over articles on anything science-related, but I have never excelled in science subjects like Chemistry and Physics (let’s not even mention Mathematics) back in my secondary and tertiary institutions. Instead, I excelled in Literature, which is almost never listed as a standard area for an INTJ to do well in, probably because of Literature’s stigma of its limitations in translating theory into practice. However, I think writing, in any form, requires a certain level of calculation and structure. How I approach writing is similar to how scientists approach an experiment, albeit with an aesthetic flair. Literature is a kind of science which can help to understand the world through the lens of theory and allegory. True, there is technically no right or wrong answer in Literature, but there are definitely good and bad ones that are not judged arbitrarily but with systematic and erudite determinations.”

19. “INTJ’s are stereotyped to be scientists, unemotional, men, non-religious, socially awkward and uncharismatic. Not all INTJs fall into any or all of those labels.”

20. “INTJs are said to be cold blooded, cold hearted and emotionless. While I may look emotionless on the outside, I do have emotions – I just prefer not to idolize my feelings. People misunderstand me in this way.”

21. “I am not a jerk. I am a very nice person to almost everyone! When I’m not nice I’m at least polite. When I’m not polite I’m at least neutral, giving the benefit of the doubt. If I don’t like you and it’s not so bad, I just tolerate you. If I don’t like you and it’s bad, I cut you out of my life. There’s no reason to be a jerk.”

22. “I am very loyal and care about everyone close to me, just not in the same way NFs or xSFJs care for people. If I care about you, you’re on my mind constantly, which you should take as a compliment considering the high-quality of thoughts I only allow up here.”

23. “I am not interested in raising conflict with others. Conflicts are terrible (ago, inefficiency!). We argue if and when we’re trying to solve a conflict. Arguments are never personal for us, and many INTJs will just straight up change their minds if presented with a more logical argument than their own. Good luck with that, though.”