15 Newlywed Men Reveal Exactly How They Feel About Being Monogamous For The Rest Of Their Lives

1. “I married an open-minded chick on purpose. This dick has not seen its last pussy. “

— Mark, 27

2. “I’m totally fine with the idea of being with one woman for the rest of my life. At least, today I’m okay with it. My buddy Frank always says ‘one day at a time.’ It’s the only way to stop yourself from going absolutely insane.”

— Miles, 28

3. “My philosophy? I won’t have sex with other women as long as I’m getting laid. The second my wife denies me sex, I withhold the right to take care of business.”

— Jack, 26

4. “Detached sex is just about getting off, you know. I’m not saying I plan to cheat, but that’s my mindset.”

— Miguel, 32

5. “My dad was an affair man. Growing up, I always told myself I’d never do what he did to my mom to the woman I married. Then I went through puberty. Fidelity’s tough. I don’t want to jinx myself by making future predictions.”

— Carey, 25

6. “I wouldn’t have popped the question if my girl didn’t worship my cock. I’ve got nothing to worry about.”

— Adam, 27

7. “As a practicing lawyer, I’m more of a read-between-the-lines guy. When you’re interpreting the law—or, say, a vow—you have to see the broader picture. Pledging to ‘stay faithful,’ can mean a lot of different things. It’s all about context, you know.”

— Ethan 37

8. “I have faith in my relationship. We’ve got at least five to ten years before things get boring. Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

— Gary, 30

9. “It’s against the law not to consummate a marriage, right? Or is lack of sex just grounds for divorce? Whatever. Point is, it’s a married man’s right to have sex with his wife. Why else tie the knot?”

— Max, 31

10. “When I’m happy, the wife’s happy. And vice versa. Down the line, if staying happy means a little recreational poking here and there, I’ll do what’s necessary. But I don’t have a double standard. I want my wife to make sure her needs are met, too. Everyone’s better off that way, I’d say.”

— Aiden, 32

11. “You should see my wife. She’s a babe. I adore her and I think of her as my main vagina. Will there be a few side dishes I wanna sample along the way? You bet. But I plan to get most of my nourishment from the entrée I promised myself to.”

— Paul, 28

12. “I think I’ll be able to hold out, as long as I can duck out of the office for a rub and tug on my lunch break once a month or so.”

— Noah, 34

13. “Life’s long, man. You have to wonder at what point the passion will wear off and you both end up in a frenzy for something new. Some guys forget that women are just as likely to cheat as they are. I think we’re all vulnerable to temptation, so you’ve got to work together to fight it.”

— Owen, 33

14. “My wife loves this relationship expert Esther Perel who specializes in desire and how to keep the fire going and all that. I think my wife’s scared I’m incapable of staying faithful just because I cheated on her once two years ago, before we were even engaged. Been smacking myself for admitting to that ever since!”

— Liam, 29

15. “It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught. Think about it.”

— Sebastian, 30