1. Bad breath.

What really turns me off is bad breath. Had a boyfriend who was great in so many ways, but as it turned out he had halitosis and I had to call it off.

2. Bad teeth.

Bad teeth. Go to a dentist for goodness sake or at least brush them properly…

3. Blue eye shadow.

Blue eye shadow. Why did that ever become a thing and why is it so goddamn popular?

4. Ugly hands.

Ugly hands.

5. Hairy bodies.

Too much body hair. On anybody. I don’t want you to be bald, just don’t make it look like Osama bin Laden’s beard down there.

6. Dirty fingernails.

Dirty fingernails. Shit’s nasty.

7. Clownface makeup.

Overdone makeup.

8. The gum-smile.

The gum-smile. That smile which reveals vast acreages of upper gum….I just can’t handle it. Sorry!

9. Men in flip-flops.

Men in flip-flops. I don’t know what it is but I am physically repulsed by it.

10. Women who don’t shave down there.

Going down on a girl and discovering a goddamn jungle that no one has ever explored before.

11. People who spit while talking.

Spitting while talking.

12. Sourpusses and whiners.

When people have that negative, moody, I’m-a-15-year-old-who-hates-everyone attitude. Why on Earth would anyone think I’m going to jump on you when you’re telling me all about how terrible your life and everyone in it is?

13. Mean people.

Being mean. I can pretty quickly turn away from mean people, no matter how nice they pretend to be to me.

14. Serious people.

Someone who is too serious—need a sense of humor or I’m gone. Confident and truly funny is the sexiest thing in the world.

15. Bad grammar.

Bad grammar. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. If you use “your” when you mean “you’re,” instant 4 levels deducted on attractiveness. Same thing with “than” and “then.” I’ll just completely ignore you for the rest of your life if you use “loose” instead of “lose.”

16. Militant atheists.

Militant atheism…Yes, I know my God doesn’t exis—yes, I know it’s like believing in Santa Cla—Sigh yes, I know religion is evil.

17. People who act even dumber than they are.

Purposely acting ditzy as if it was cute.

18. Smokers, stoners, and political extremists.

Smoking.

Being super into “weed culture.”

Being super right-wing, also being super left-wing.

19. Social media zombies.

People who live their lives through their Facebook and Instagram accounts by posting selfies and pictures of their lunch etc. constantly.

20. People who laugh too loud.

Loud cackle laughs. I will just nope out of a room.

21. Women with overpowering body odor.

Women with overpowering body odor or a cultural smell like curry, mothballs, etc.

Cat hair stuck on a T-shirt with either Mickey Mouse or a horse on it.

Stained teeth.

ANYONE whose laptop looks like they eat, masturbate, and spit up on it but don’t bother to wipe it down once in a while.

Pretty specific shit…

22. Selfie sticks.

A selfie stick. The instant I see anyone holding a selfie stick my opinion of them plummets.

23. Arrogance.

Arrogance. Every time. Conversely, confidence is my biggest turn-on & there’s such a difference.

24. A dazzling array of deal breakers.

If the majority of your wardrobe consists of graphic tees that say things like, “Fuck Yeah, Friday!”

You have a Superman tattoo.

The pockets of your jeans are “bedazzled.”

You talk in the third person.

When you talk about when you were “in school,” you’re talking about high school.

Trying to hold intellectual conversations when you can’t even get simple subject-verb agreements correct.

You’re older than 21 and still obsess over social media. On a similar note, you check your phone every 30 seconds—while on a date.

25. Men without beards.

Beardless men.