29 Men Criticize Women’s Most Horrifying Fashion Mistakes
1. "Fresh-Out-Of-The-Oven" tanning.
Being overly tanned. I’m sorry, but I don’t like your “fresh-out-of-the-oven” look. A bit of a tan, sure. But the result of hours of lying on a beach? Pass. That shit ain’t healthy for your skin, brodette.
2. Accessories with the word "princess," "bitch" or "juicy."
Wearing Playboy bunny or any clothing/ accessories that have the words princess, bitch, juicy, or any form of that is the female equivalence of a TapouT T-shirt or Ed Hardy clothing line.
3. Short hair.
I personally feel something like grief when a girl cuts her hair short. Beautiful long hair is often my favorite feature on a girl. When it’s suddenly just gone, I feel like it’s such a waste.
4. High-waisted pants.
High-waisted shorts/jeans/whatever other trousers exist in high-waisted variant.
Shit tattoos like the bog-standard Infinity symbol or a dandelion with birds flying off it, that kind of thing.
5. The GUNT/FUPA.
Having a GUNT.
6. Uggs.
Uggs, even brand new they give a sense of you having given up on your looks.
7. Appearing unhealthy.
Appearing unhealthy. This could be because of weight (too much or too little), complexion, hair, smoking cigarettes, just anything that makes you look like you might might die 5-30 years sooner than you probably should.
8. Shaved-and-Sharpied eyebrows.
When they shave their eyebrows off and paint them on with a Sharpie or whatever they use.
9. The Nasal bull ring.
Nose ring between both nostrils. I just can’t get the image of a bull out of my head.
10. Spray-on tans.
Spray-on tan that makes them look like the Oompa Loompas from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
11. Dreadlocks.
Dreads. They look fucking filthy.
12. Pigtails.
Pigtails. NO ONE looks good in pigtails.
13. The "clown whore" look.
Clown whore makeup.
14. Butt-hole lips.
Using a darker lip liner. It creates butt hole lips. You talk and all I can do is fear that actual shit is going to come out of your mouth.
15. Lip injections.
There has never been one woman who looked better after having her lips pumped up. Ever.
16. Shaving designs onto their skulls.
Shaving designs on their head. That’s just a turnoff for me. I mean why do they have half bald and half hair? Make up your mind!
17. Corpse paint.
That face powder that makes their face totally white like a death mask.
18. Leopard spots.
Metal in your face. And wearing anything with leopard spots.
19. Shallowness, etc.
Too much makeup/perfume. Excessive facial piercing/facial tattoos. Over-tanned/carrot complexion. Fake nails. Weaves. Gaudy, branded clothing with pink and juicy on them. Body odor. Facial hair. Greasy skin. Glitter. Dreads/plaited hair. Drawn eyebrows. Fake/nonexistent personalities. No knowledge of world events. Shallowness.
20. Crusty, bacteria-ridden piercings.
Fucking gauges in their ears and dermal piercings anywhere on the face. Gross, not only do your ears smell like hot garbage but those things on your face are just waiting for some bacteria to get beneath them. Also, nipple piercings are kinda gross, too. Even when properly cared for they still get nasty little crusty bits of dead skin and bacteria on them.
21. The "wet dog" hairstyle.
When they go for the “wet dog” hairstyle reminiscent of Coming to America‘s Soul Glow hair product.
22. Obsessing over their nails.
Painting their nails.
It’s actually not unattractive, but it’s just that they spend so much time and money to do it and I don’t think guys care about it at all. I mean as long as they don’t look hideous, that’s fine with me. I wonder, though, how many girls would stop doing it if guys told then it didn’t matter one way or the other. I guess they just like it or think it looks pretty or it’s just a girl thing.
23. Looking slutty.
Honestly, looking slutty just kind of kills it for me. On occasion in the bedroom I might like it, but in public when you’re wearing shorts so short your ass hangs out and a shirt showing half your bra, it just kills it for me.
24. Sloppy buns while wearing sweatpants and Ugg boots.
That gross like, sloppy bun thing white girls do in their sweatpants and Ugg boots. Directly on the top of their heads, making them look like a retarded Teletubby or something. I hate that so much. I understand the laziness, boy do I, but its become a fashion thing now and it is just plain not attractive.
25. Accessorizing while obese.
It is the height of disgusting when a fat, or just out of shape, girl clearly spends ridiculous amounts of time on makeup and accessorizing. She could spend half that time exercising and be physically AND mentally more attractive.
26. Tons of makeup.
A shitload of makeup. Mascara and the lighter makeup is fine, but once you move on to the baboon-ass red lipstick with the blueballs-colored eye shadow, I assume you are trying to signal airplanes to land on your rosy, glitter-infused cheeks.
27. DayGlo hair dye.
If you are old enough to drink, you’re too old to dye your hair neon pink, blue, or purple. Besides saying to me that you would be impossible to hold a decent conversation with, it also says to me that you don’t have a job with any growth potential, that you’re just waiting so you don’t have to have that whole “work responsibility” anymore.
28. A whole list of mistakes.
Here is my list off the top of my head:
Wear pants or shorts with a really high waist. Totally not sexy. It’s like what middle-aged moms wore in the 80s and still own and wear today in their 60s to work in the garden…ew.
Wear their hair in a top bun thingy…just makes you look like a weird alien balancing something on your head.
Wearing really red lipstick It’s just weird. And you just look like some weird Ronald McDonald chick; 99% of women don’t have the right skin/hair/face/ shade of red combination to pull it off. Pink or something soft looks even hotter, without making my body have a fight-or-flight response to your face.
Wearing a poncho/shoulder blanket thingy, no matter what it’s made of or how decorative it looks, you look like a lesbian art teacher.
Wearing a vest. Unless you’re trying to look like a lesbian, you’re just making yourself look like a dude. Not hot.
Wearing a plaid shirt and thinking you are, or look, “country”; you don’t and you’re only fooling yourselves.
Also super-long fingernails are fucking creepy. Even if they’re painted or fake. Past a 1/4 inch 7mm and they just look wtf Like I don’t wanna know how much dirt is under there or how your wipe your ass with out them touching it…
29. Doesn’t matter.
No point in even saying. It will just make them angry and they won’t do what we suggest anyway.
