10 Things People Say When They Find Out You’re An Atheist

“So do you, like, only date ATHEISTS?”

It’s not like I discriminate because of religion. I tend to date halfway decent, considerate people, regardless of their religious affiliation. If you’re respectful of my beliefs, I’ll be respectful of yours.

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right church.”

Maybe you just haven’t exposed yourself to enough fact.

“Are you angry with God?”/”Why do you hate God?”

I’m no more angry with God than I am with unicorns. You can’t hate something that you don’t believe exists.

“Don’t you feel that your life is empty?”

No, I don’t. I am very fulfilled in the life I live. I don’t need religion to give my existence purpose.

“Did your parents raise you to be this way?”

No, I’m old enough to decide what I believe. My parents are two Catholics, shaking their heads and wondering what the hell happened to me.

“Do you worship Satan?”

What in the actual fuck?? NO! Educate yourself.

“This is just a phase. You’ll find faith later in life.”

Thanks for taking me so seriously as a person. I’m sure that someday, for no reason, I will suddenly change a way of thinking I’ve had since I was a child.

“So, are you gay?”

WHAT??? First of all, no, I am not (though I wonder sometimes if I would be happier as a lesbian. I think I would make a good lesbian). Second of all, it’s extremely offensive to assume that a person’s sexuality is attached to their religion. There are homosexuals of all faiths.

“Do you have a vlog?”

Is it a requirement of atheism that I have a vlog?

“I’ll pray for you.”

Fuck. You.