10 Things You Can Say To A Woman

Why are we always talking about what “girls” do? Let’s talk about what “women” do. There’s a big difference between the two and, In my experience, a lot of youthful sensitivities and concerns mentioned in Stephanie Karina’s recent article fade with time.

Sure, men should always be sensitive to what those around them think and feel as much as is possible or reasonable but a mature woman is a wonderful thing. Without further ado, 10 ways I’ve seen grown women respond to seemingly untouchable topics.

1. “You’re just PMSing.”

I think tone of voice is going to be pretty important here. I’ve absolutely had lady friends who knew they were overemotional specifically because they were menstruating. It’s a biological fact that an emotional rollercoaster or at least increased hills and valleys can very often be a byproduct of a woman shedding her uteral lining. A woman is less likely than a girl to be offended by a gentle reminder that “maybe this is your body talking a bit right now” to help someone you care about put things in perspective for themselves. If you’re using it as a weapon though then shut up. No one likes their body used as a weapon against them.

2. “Have you lost weight?”

I said this to my woman just two weeks ago…and she had. I knew it was okay to say this because she’d been hitting the gym and, as a woman, concrete goals are more important to her than the illusion that she’s the same weight she was at 17. Noticing hard work is a form of affection. Women know this.

3. “Have you put on weight?”

Okay, you’ve got me here. Don’t ever say it unless she says it first. Additionally, don’t ever say it unless she says it first and you’ve ALSO put on weight and can therefore relate to the problem of being heavier than you want to be. Teamwork! Congrats, you can now both set positive goals together.

4. “Stop being a bitch, etc.”

Question, is she being a bitch? By bitch I mean is she being cruel to you or someone else? Has she refused to stop? Is she taking out the loss of something on everyone around her and won’t heed your tears? It’s more important to women I’ve known for someone to call them out when needed and implore them to be the person that they’ve said they want to be than for you to stand by and let her repeatedly make an ass of herself.

5. “So-and-so is a slut.”

I don’t do that. That’s weird.

6. “Sorry, I was just so wasted.”

A grown ass woman has already made a bunch of mistakes while drunk off her bar stool. She knows that booze can create a tidal wave monster of inappropriate and shitty words that pour straight out of the mouth hole. You should have seen me last St. Patty’s Day. It was epic horror on my part but I apologized profusely and explained that the booze allowed me to say some things in a terrible way that I’d been afraid to address in a measured way. Grown ass women have been here, they understand. They may still dump you. Try not to roll the dice.

7. “I didn’t say you had to stop talking.”

Who says this? Slaveowners? Doms? Slaveowners, again?

8. “So, you’re going to hook up with me, right?”

Totally appropriate if said in a joking “I really like you” way while deep in a make out session. It might bomb but a woman isn’t going to expect men to always be smooth. She’s making out with you because she already likes you. Men know how to take “no” or “not this time” in stride and keep right on smooching. Now she knows you want her. Next time could be epic.

9. “I really don’t like your friend, sister, mom, etc.”

Yeah, save this for year two of the relationship or use it right before you break up with someone if you really need to say it. On the flip side, if this friend, sister, mom, etc is being rude to you then a woman is going to expect you to not like them. She’ll likely apologize for their behavior.

10. “Girls don’t know anything about sports or [insert stereotypical male interest].”

In comparison to most men, most women don’t know anything about sports (the fact that there’s not another interest even named makes me kind of wonder if the author knows about any other male interests). A woman won’t be threatened by this because she’s mature enough to understand that she doesn’t have to know everything and that nobody does. Besides, using the phrase “stereotypical male interest” in a section about fighting stereotypes strikes me as pretty girly.