9 Suggestions For When You Accidentally Send Someone You’ve Been Facebook Stalking A Friend Request

1. Cancel that friend request faster than the speed of light. Especially if it’s someone you really should not have been Facebook stalking, including but not limited to any of the following persons: Your ex, your ex’s new SO, your crush that you’ve never really talked to, your crush that you made-out with that one time, and last but not least, your crush that rejected you.

2. Call your closest friend in the most panicky voice ever. Call them even if it’s 2 a.m. their time and ask them for advice. After all, this is a CODE RED and they need to tell you what to do. They may tell you to change your identity and move to a different city. Or they may tell you to chill the hell out and that it’s not a big deal, and that in a few months you’ll be laughing about it. (The former sounds like better advice to be honest.)

3. Dig a hole. Crawl in it. Stay there indefinitely.

4. Move to another planet. I hear Mars is great this time of year.

5. Deactivate your Facebook profile for a while. While you’re at it, just go ahead and deactivate Twitter, Instagram, and if you write on a blog, take a break from it. It’s time for a digital hiatus…for a year.

6. Send them a Facebook message explaining the truth: That you were Facebook stalking them and sent them the request by accident. (WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS?!)

7. Send them a Facebook message explaining that your baby cousin/nephew/niece/random baby from somewhere, was chilling by your computer and somehow managed to look them up and add them. Kids these days, so technologically savvy…

8. Get a grip. Realize that everyone Facebook stalks and shrug it off. Sure it’s embarrassing that you got caught but it’s not the end of the world. Keep the friend request sitting and wait to see what happens. (HAHAHAHA. Ignore this.)

9. Hope and pray that the person didn’t see it/doesn’t check their Facebook very often. And then do number 1. And after that, do nothing. The deed has been done. Karma has sought you and found you. You are now going to live in perpetual fear of running into them in real life, and in the uncertainty of whether they saw your request or not. But when you do run into them – because you inevitably will, (that’s how Murphy’s law works) – play dumb. Ignorance is bliss after all, and it makes the world go round. Unless of course they bring it up, and if that happens: Good luck with that.