8 Things That Wake You Up In The Middle Of The Night And Whether Or Not You Should Get Out Of Bed For Them

1. You have to pee.

You probably should get up and do this. Yes the seat will be cold, the bathroom light will be bright, and you may require some time to fall back asleep, but those consequences are less painful than a pee-holding induced stomachache or a UTI (so I’ve heard). It’s also less smelly/humiliating than a urine soaked mattress and overall, the feeling of a relieved bladder balances out any of the cons.

2. Thirst.

How thirsty are you really? Keep in mind that if you’re going to drink a ton of water, it might lead to you having to get up again to pee. Sometimes we wake up with the feeling of a waterless hiker who’s been lost in the desert wilderness for two days, and we simply have no choice but to get up and guzzle down multiple glasses with cartoonish gulps. If it’s more casual, like “Hmm, a little water sounds kind of nice right now,” then I always say H2No, I’ll wait until the morning.

3. Hunger.

This one’s tricky, but here’s how I make the tough decision. Add the length in minutes of how long the meal will take to prepare, to how long it will take to consume. If that number is anything larger than 5 minutes, forget about it. I just close my eyes and pray I’ll dream that I’m falling into a vat of hummus on a giant pita chip.

4. A really great idea.

So you woke up with some great idea, huh? How great was it really? Like, I’m half asleep and this sounds kind of cool in a way. Or damn, this is a nugget of brilliance and I’ll regret it if I can’t remember this tomorrow? If you can tell it’s only intriguing because you’re disoriented, pass. If it’s a stroke of genius, don’t risk letting your potential treasures go to waste. Roll over, write that sucker down, then continue you’re your overnight siesta knowing you might have the next sliced bread on your hands.

5. Potential intruder.

If you’re under the impression that a burglar or killer is in your home, you probably heard glass break or something, so yeah, I’d recommend getting out of bed for that. Hey, you may even want to take it a step or fifty further and hastily exit your home. Y’know, don’t want to get like murdered or something.

6. Potential ghost/spirit/scene from Paranormal Activity about to happen to you right now.

If you’re under the impression that a ghoul is in your home, you probably just heard a creak or randomly had a nightmare, so I’d recommend staying in bed for that. Try to go back to sleep. If after all these years of paranoia, this is finally the time that a ghost actually decided to grab you by the ankles and drag you out of bed, so be it. Realistically there’d be nothing you could do to stop it anyway, so you may as well continue on with your Z session.

7. Incoming call or text.

No. If this person calls a second time it might be an emergency, so if you care about their wellbeing you should probably answer. If it turns out that they weren’t in trouble, they certainly are now for interrupting your slumber.

8. You fell asleep watching a DVD, and the menu is constantly replaying. It’s really annoying.

The light from the TV is one thing, but the 15 second menu playing over and over and over again is going to be embedded in your brain for life if you don’t get up and handle it. Always get up for this – it’ll make the rest of the night pleasant, and the next day won’t feature a looping jingle stuck in your head.