“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

This is the one I see most often on my Facebook newsfeed. First of all, she’s freakin’ Marilyn Monroe. She pretty much gets to do whatever she wants and still be desired by most men. I don’t necessarily disagree with this quote, but I feel like girls are using it as an excuse to be assholes. Sure, we all have our flaws. I don’t believe you should beat yourself up over those flaws. I don’t believe your man should beat you up over those flaws (literally and figuratively). But I also believe you don’t get to go around acting like an inconsiderate jerk all the time and expect men to just deal with it because as far as you’re concerned, they’re lucky just to be with you. What if guys behaved like this? Sometimes they do, and you’re either a fool for staying or you kick them to the curb. Everyone knows that. Dude has every right to give you the boot if you can’t keep your not so endearing qualities under control.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

Okay, but what’s your definition of being absolutely ridiculous, girl living in 2013? If it means staying out all night, drinking way past the point of coherence and grinding until you puke all over your girlfriend’s dress because YOLO, then please, please opt for absolutely boring. I spent my Saturday night with a large glass of wine and a stuffed crust Digiorno pizza. The WHOLE pizza. It was absolutely ridiculous!

“When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them anyways.”

I feel like this goes hand in hand with calling someone a hater. This word bothers me because most people who use it tend to throw it at every single person that happens to have a problem with them. Sometimes you’re going to encounter people that just don’t like you, and there’s not much you can do about it. But maybe you rubbed them the wrong way because you were rude or have an inflated sense of self-importance. I just think it’s something to consider.

“A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.”

I only adhere to this if you’re talking about the dairy food group. And for the sake of the argument I’m going to pretend that Marilyn channeled her inner Liz Lemon by getting down with some night cheese.