You Don’t Forgive To Forget (You Forgive To Move Forward)

Karin Hadadan, faithful author of Beauty in the Stillness, speaks to why forgiveness is hard but necessary in order for us to reflect God’s light and love.

When someone wrongs us, our natural inclination is to respond with the same energy they’ve given us—to stoop to their level, to punish them, to make them feel the pain we’ve felt. As human beings, our feelings of anger, frustration, and irritation are warranted. However, these emotions also invite us to explore what breaking these patterns might look like as we strive to embody Christ’s forgiveness—so that we can restore relationships and strengthen our communities.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

The two commands—bearing with others and forgiving them—demonstrate the model of true forgiveness. We first learn to bear with someone by developing patience and tolerance for their behavior, weaknesses, and quirks. From that place, we naturally discover compassion and grace, recognizing that others are also doing their best in their human experience. We come to realize that we are all one—we too have behaviors, weaknesses, and quirks that we may not even recognize.

While forgiving someone is difficult, especially when they’ve caused us deep pain and suffering, authentically releasing resentment is necessary—not primarily for them, but for our own hearts. It is through the act of forgiveness that we most closely resemble God’s character. If God can forgive each of us for our sins, we must learn to do the same for those before us.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways we reflect God’s character. Yet it often feels difficult, especially when we’ve been hurt or disappointed by others. Choosing to forgive means releasing the anger, frustration, and resentment that weigh down the heart, and allowing God’s grace to fill that space instead. Just as He has forgiven us completely, we are called to extend that same mercy to others.

This process doesn’t excuse wrongdoing—it frees us from the bitterness that limits love. As we learn to respond with patience, compassion, and grace, we begin to mirror God’s nature more clearly, becoming living expressions of His love and forgiveness in the world.