The Day I Stopped Begging For Love And Started Choosing Myself

Sabrina Alexis Bendory is the author of Detached and You’re Overthinking It. Sabrina specializes in helping people build unshakable self-worth, break unhealthy patterns, and attract the love they deserve

Oh what a day that will be! The day when you are free and realize you are worth SO much more than what you were about to settle for. The day you FINALLY realize it wasn’t about him at all… it was you and what you thought his approval meant about you.

When I was 21 every piece of me broke when a man I thought was the love of my life left me for someone else. I spent years convinced he was the other half of my soul (yes, I actually used those words, gag). I tried to manifest him back. I would read his horoscope daily to see if there was anything about rekindling with an ex (I can’t believe I’m admitting this!).

I would visualize it. I tried EVERYTHING to get this man back. I showed him how wanted I was… I wore the hottest clothes… I tried to be funny and interesting and successful and impressive and all the freaking things.

When I was so busy performing to earn his love I overlooked one major thing: he was a diabolical human being! He was the worst. Being with him would have been the worst thing to ever happen to me. It took me too many years to realize this but when I did… oh wow. I will never forget that day and that feeling.

There have been many things l’ve desperately wanted, and many broken men. And as time passed… the dots eventually connected and it all made sense and I was so relieved and grateful that it didn’t happen.

Your time is coming. Just stay strong.