Why God Makes You Wait So Long Before He Sends You Your Soulmate
It is one thing to want the right kind of love.
It is another thing entirely to be ready for it.
You will see the difference between connection and chemistry.
Rebecca Simon
We don’t often talk about that aspect of connection. We pray for something that will last, that will endure. We pray for something steady, for something holy, and when it doesn’t arrive in the way or within the timing we had always hoped for, we assume that we are missing something. That we’re not healed enough. That we are not faithful enough, or lovable enough, or open enough.
But the silence in your life is not a dismissal. It is a preparation. It is mercy. It is God doing what he always does when something sacred is on the way, it is God making sure that the foundation can hold the weight of what is coming, of what is meant to take root in our lives.
Because the kind of love you are praying for won’t be light in a surface level way. It won’t be a distraction. It won’t just meet you — it will grow you, it will challenge you, it will ask more of you. And that kind of love cannot enter your life until you have done the kind of work that makes space for it.
Sometimes God doesn’t just do work in, and prepare, the person who will love you well. Sometimes, he prepares you to be able to receive what you have asked for without pushing it away, without doubting its sincerity, without shrinking yourself to keep it.
Before real love arrives, God will teach you how to stop performing for it. God will teach you how to stop mistaking attention for affection. God will teach you how to stop tethering your worth to how externally desired you feel. He will show you the difference between connection and chemistry. He will ask you to grieve the parts of yourself that only ever knew how to beg, or chase, or over-function in the name of being loved. And then he will start rebuilding you in the image of someone who knows they are already loved, even before the relationship begins.
At the end of the day, the love that is destined for you will not just affirm you. It will challenge you. It will mirror parts of you that you have worked hard to hide or outrun. It will require your presence, your vulnerability, your spiritual maturity. If you are not rooted in who you are, if you are not grounded in who God created you to be, even the right things will feel unfamiliar, and untrustworthy. You will doubt the goodness. You will sabotage the depth. Not because it’s wrong, but because you will not know how to rest in something that does not ask you to earn it, you will not know how to recognize it when it cracks into your life.
That is why God prepares you.
Not because you are unworthy or because you are this project to be turned over and worked on constantly. But because the love you are praying for, the love you desire from the deepest corners of your heart, is worthy of you at your most whole. It deserves the version of you who doesn’t abandon themselves in relationships. It deserves the version of you who can apologize when needed and receive grace when it is given. It deserves the version of you who can speak your truth without fear, who can hold space without being hollowed out, and who can stay soft without self-sacrifice, or self-erasure. That version of you takes time, takes work, and God knows that. He always has.
If something hasn’t happened yet, it is not because something is gravely wrong or misaligned. It is because the foundation is still forming. It is because what’s ahead of you is too important to be rushed. It is because this season isn’t just about love — it is about becoming someone who can hold it, someone who can honor it.
Because holy love isn’t about perfection. It is about partnership. It is about clarity. It is about two human beings who are willing to grow towards God and towards each other without losing themselves in the process.
When that kind of love finally finds you — it will feel like recognition. It will feel like peace. It will feel like God’s love, being mirrored back to you in the form of someone who is willing, and ready, to witness you fully. Finally.
